|| BTS Seokjin Imagines ||

When you feel insecure

In the quiet of your cozy apartment, you shared with your boyfriend, you were in your bedroom standing right in front of your towering mirror with your mind, a turmoil of insecurities churning inside your head. 

With each passing glance at your reflection, the mirror only seemed to morph into a canvas of your deepest flaws. The abrasive chorus of your self-loathing thoughts just seemed to scream louder and louder at you, completely crushing you under its torturous pressure.

You began to examine your appearance by twisting and turning your body with a devastating look.

Goodness, have my eyes always been shaped like that? Why are they positioned so weirdly?

Does my nose have to be so stubby and completely absent of any structure?

And, have I been gaining weight lately? How have I not noticed before? One day, I look as thin as a skeleton and now I look as chubby as a baby walrus. 

"Why do I have to look so disgusting at times?" you murmured to yourself with a trembling voice. Your self-consciousness seemed to reach even greater heights as you started to overthink about how bad even your voice sounded to yourself. "Even my voice is annoying!"

Covering your face in your hands, you collapsed onto the edge of your bed and broke down in heart wrenching sobs, completely subjecting yourself to the inner critique of your self-loathing thoughts.

Sensing the weight of your distress, Jin cautiously pushed the door of your bedroom open and peeked in while holding a mug of steaming coffee in his hands, only to find his dearest and deepest love, hunched over on the bed with her face buried in her hands, sobbing and crying a pool of tears that held volumes of long held sorrows and heart ache.

Jin was immediately startled to see you in such a vulnerable state, therefore, setting aside his mug of coffee carefully away on the dressing table, he approached you before nestling down right beside you.

Inching forward, he enveloped you in the embrace of his arms that was so warm that it could rival the warmth of a blissful summer breeze. "Hey, my darling angel," he whispered softly, his honey-coated voice a sweet melody that fought against your own cruel thoughts. "What's wrong, dearest? Why are you crying?"

When you raised your head to gaze into his own soft dark eyes, your eyes shimmered with tears causing Jin to feel his heart clench with sorrow at the sight of his gorgeous angel so shattered.

You felt him reach out and gently brush the bangs away from your forehead before tucking them securely behind your ears. "I... I just feel like I'm not good enough," you sobbed, your voice heavy and quiet as a whisper, yet so fragile. "My eyes, my nose, my voice. my weight... my everything is all wrong and I'm not enough."

Jin felt his heart constrict even more with a pain that he couldn't even try to bear as he learned of the harsh source behind your tears. His love for you swelled with an intensity that threatened to consume his whole heart and soul. Gently brushing away your tears with his fingertips, he pressed a tender yet warm kiss on to your forehead.

"Oh, my love," he breathed, his voice rich with tenderness and affection. "You are more than enough. You're the woman I've always dreamed of calling mine. You're a masterpiece."

His words did no effort to soothe you while your violent thoughts scraped at the walls of your mind. Shaking your head against his chest, you drew a shuddering breath. "No," you whispered, sniffling. "You only say that because you're my boyfriend. There's nothing to love about me."

To Jin, the words you just uttered only served to twist and strike his heart as if he was getting stabbed with a thousand knives. Leaning back, he cradled your head in his broad chest, before reaching down and holding your delicate hands in his own large ones. 

Bringing your hands to rest against his chest, he gazed into you with a look of unwavering devotion. "You don't believe me?" he murmured before squeezing your hands even tightly within his. "Then let me show you." he whispered in a promising tone. He stood up before extending his hand to you. "Come on," he whispered with a sweet smile.

You were hesitant, wondering just what he was about to do to fight off the demons in your mind, yet you trusted him, you always had, so you placed your hand in his and let him gently guide you towards the mirror that once shamed you.

Once you're standing in front of the mirror like you did once before, Jin moved back to position himself behind you before wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his chin coming to rest gently on top of your shoulder. 

"Baby, do you see these eyes?" he whispered, his thumb tracing the delicate curves of your cheek underneath your eyes. "They are oceans of warmth and compassion and a window to your loving soul. Each time I gaze into them, I could just drown in the amount of pure love those beautiful eyes hold."

His fingers moved down to your nose, before he let out a chuckle, a sweet serenade of melodies. "And your nose? How can I simply resist how cute it is? I just can't leave the room without giving your nose some sweet pinches and cute little boops. I especially love how it scrunches up in such an adorable way when you laugh." With that, he chuckled in delight before lightly pinching your nose, making you break out in soft giggles.

"Yes, exactly when you laugh like that." he whispered in between giggles, softly caressing and pinching your scrunched up nose.

His lips brushed against your ear and you can feel his warm breath fanning against your neck sending shivers down your spine. 

"And your voice," he whispered. "If I had to spend a day without hearing your beautiful voice, I would just curl up into a ball and die, because how can I? From your groggy yet silvery 'good mornings' at dawn, to you calling my name and running to me, even when you... you know... yell at me for the stupid stuff I do.. hehe... all down to the naughty words you whisper into my ear in bed, your voice has it all and makes my heart flutter. If one day, I woke up and I cannot ever hear your voice again, honestly, my whole heart would be ripped out of me, because I'd miss it so much."

You felt your heart swell with the tidal waves of emotions crashing onto you as Jin continued to shower you with sweet adorations.

"And as for your weight," he murmured as he gently ran his hands down your curves. "It is perfect because it is yours. It's the weight that fits perfectly in my arms as I carry you up the stairs to bed whenever you fall asleep on the couch during our late-night movie dates." he wrapped himself even tightly around your body pressing you back against his chest. "Whenever I hold onto your body, it reminds me that you're real and you're not just a fantasy that my mind came up with."

You felt your eyes brimming with tears of joy at how Jin had completely changed your entire view about yourself using the same mirror that you used to criticize yourself with. Turning around to face him, you threw yourself onto his arms and embraced him tight.

"Thank you, Jin. You have no idea just how much your words mean to me. I love you." you whispered. 

Smiling warmly, Jin pulled you closer to his chest before gently stroking your hair. Leaning down, he planted a sweet kiss on your lips. "I love you too, angel." he breathed, with a soft smile. "And I will always be here to remind you how amazing you are. You're the worldwide beauty to my worldwide handsome."

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Stay safe and stay happy! Love y'all! <33