Pieces of Us| h.s.

Chapter Twelve.

Harry Styles

'Anyway, I'm gonna smoke,' Sydney said, putting a twenty down on the table. 'Someone get the next round I'll have whatever.'

Sydney got up from the table and wandered outside after downing the rest of what was in her glass. I decided I'd have a smoke too and now we say time to go since I don't have a lighter with me.

It was never going to be a quiet night, we've been to four different bars and I don't even know what day it is. We're all fucked and hats of to Sydney because she's obviously a smaller person than us guys so it hits her a lot quicker, somehow she's still going strong, strongish.

When I got outside she was standing against the wall, already holding the light out to me as if she knew. Sydney does know us all very well, we've very close and sometimes I think we could all read each other's minds if we tried hard enough.

'You are never allowed to be stingy about giving me a lighter ever again you shit.' Syd chuckled, passing the lighter towards me. 'Knew you'd join me.'

'Know me too well,' I smiled, 'are you steaming? Cause fuck me I can't even see straight.'

Sydney giggled, I did too just at her laugh though. For a minute or two we just stood there outside the bar having a little laugh to ourselves and somehow that answered all the questions I had to ask about what level of drunkness Sydney was on. We all tend to get like this when we drink, the littlest things become hilarious and we'll laugh to the point of tears over something our sober selves wouldn't even smile over.

She rested her head on my shoulder as the laughter calmed down, and mine fell down on top of hers. For a moment we were consumed by the silence, the sound of us breathing out grey clouds into our surroundings, the chatter from inside the pub of groups of people all celebrating making it to Friday, the wind whistling by and swooshing all the leaves together as the dance in the sky. Our silence was comforting.

'You know Harry, I am very happy for somebody who just...I dunno was supposed to be heartbroken. You give good advice and I'm drunk so if it's shit advice I won't even remember,' Sydney spoke, 'am I meant to be devastier? Because I'm not. I asked jas but she's been in love with Ryan forever, you've been heartbroken once, help me out cause I was sad, but like...I feel almost better.'

'Sydney I'll be honest with you right. You'll just feel what you feel. You're just you. Stop comparing your emotions to others 'cause you'll go insane and question yourself too much. That's a rabbit hole that you shouldn't go down. You loved him at one point Sydney and I dunno, maybe you stopped loving him towards the end and that softened the blow. You loved him at one point though and just 'cause your heart isn't in 86 million pieces doesn't mean it wasn't real.'

For a moment she paused, thinking about everything I had just said and I was also thinking about it. I don't know if anything I said makes sense, the alcohol doesn't really aid me on advice to give Sydney. She always goes through conflict when she feels emotions that she isn't used to, doesn't know what she's supposed to feel but we're always there for her to help when she needs a soldier to listen to.

'Thanks, that was a lot of words, but thanks' Sydney nodded, lifting her head up. 'Think my issue is that my first love is music and you know what everyone says, you never get over your first love. Maybe I was too in love with music to even care, like having an affair with like...songs.'

'Maybe...' I laughed, slightly unsure of her way of thinking there. 'So you cheated first?'

'When you put it like that it sounds bad...anyway, pasts in the past now.' She smiled, looking me straight in the eye. 'You're quiet about your romantic life. Sometimes I wonder whether we don't ask enough, or we ask too much and you won't tell us. What's going on I wanna know.'