Carolina Blue

Part 34

Lukas POV

As I walk up to Cope's hospital room, I keep thinking about the preposition I gave 'Lina a week ago. She still hasn't given me an answer yet, and I haven't brought it back up for fear of rejection. I have my hopes up, and like the idea of having not just someone with me to travel to rodeos with, but Carolina. The woman that knows how to keep me grounded and she radiates contagious happiness.

Once I reached Cope's room I noticed the rarity that Cope was alone. Taking this as my opportunity to discuss something that had been on my mind for weeks I sat at the seat beside his bed.

"Hey Cope, sorry it's been awhile since I've visited." It had been over a week since I paid Cope a visit, the same week I realized my real feelings for Carolina, and the guilt had kept me away.

I took a breath and continued on, "Our Carolina has sure been makin' waves in the barrel racin' world. She's been kickin' some serious ass, you'd be so proud of her, I know I am." I couldn't help the easy smile that spread across my lips.

"And don't worry I'm keepin' an eye on her and makin' sure no creeps step her way. And I'm doin' my best to keep her mind at peace. I even invited her out on the road with me when I start travelin' for rodeos."

I paused and looked up, and then looked down at my friend's body that resembled a shell of what he used to be. The guilt rising, but I knew I needed to say what I had to say. "I'm sorry Cope, but I think somewhere along the way though I fell in love with her. I feel like a shitty best friend, I told ya I would take care of her, and now I'm saying I'm in love with your girl." I bowed my head as I felt a few tears escape my eyes.

All of sudden I felt a hand grasp my shoulder and give a gentle squeeze. "You're not a shitty best friend honey." I looked up meeting Mary Ann's eyes.

I stared up at her wondering if she heard everything I just said about being in love with Carolina. And if she had why would she not agree with me that I'm a bad friend.

"But, I fell in love with my best friend's girlfriend, while he's in a coma."

MaryAnn pulled up a chair next to me and sat down. "That's not how I see it."

I raised a brow at her questioningly, noticing she continued, "I see a great guy who watched over a fine young woman who was going through one of the hardest things in her life, while he himself was going through the same hardship himself. I see a man who helped Carolina find her way back to rodeoing something that I knew she loved so much before last summer. I see someone that has been there for his friend, both of them. I think he owes himself some grace."

I took in her words, "But being there for Carolina as friend is one thing, but somewhere along the way I developed more than friends feelings for her, and I feel terribly guilty for it."

MaryAnn laid a hand on my arm comfortingly, "Honey, it's okay to fall in love with her, she deserves someone that will love her fearlessly. She deserves someone that will help her achieve great things in life. And that is all Cope wants for her too. Sure would he have done anything to be that for Carolina, but God has a plan bigger than the rest of us, and maybe Cope is only part of 'Lina's story."

I laid my hand on top of hers and gave a light squeeze. "I would do anything for him to wake up and go on experiencing life with Carolina. I never want anyone to think I'm trying to replace him. I don't know if she can ever love me the way she loves him anyway."

MaryAnn shared a small sad smile with me that had a hint of mischief in it, "I'm Cope's mother and yes was I excited at the prospect of having Carolina as a daughter-in-law, but I will never think you're trying to replace him. And Lukas, she may never love you the same way that she loved Cope, but that doesn't mean she isn't in love with you."

I raised my eyebrows at her in surprise, "Has she said she is?"

MaryAnn broke into a wide smile at me, "She didn't have to, but fair warning I'm not sure if she has even figured it out yet."

I let a small smile grace my lips. Then MaryAnn added, "Be careful with her, she's so strong, but even strong people need someone in the corner that allows them to break every now and then. "

I nodded, "I promise, I never want to hurt her."

MaryAnn nodded, "I know, I think I knew before both of you that you were in love."

I gave her an incredulous look, and she let out a light laugh, "Oh it was entertaining at times, Ya'll were too oblivious for your own good."

I laughed along with her, "You're not the first to say that."

"I'm sure, but truly I hope I'm invited to your wedding one day." MaryAnn let a small wink at the end.

I smiled, "Of course."

After a beat of silence the air in the room shifted again and I leaned over and wrapped my arms around MaryAnn and whispered, "Thank you, I lost my mother years ago, and getting to know you has meant the world to me, you are so incredible." I didn't even attempt to stop the tears from falling this time.

MaryAnn hugged me back tightly and patted my back, "I'm always here Lukas, your mama would be so proud of you."

I nodded not trusting myself to speak anymore. MaryAnn continued, "And Cope would be so happy that Carolina has you to love her, and for her to take care of his best friend, please, don't feel guilty."

I let out a soft whisper, "Thank you MaryAnn."