Destruction ━ Bucky Barnes [2]

01 ━ NEW LEAF

DESTRUCTION.
( chapter one. )

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Edited 12/26/2015 @5:27 PM
Edited 08/05/2016 @5:07 AM
Edited 12/01/2017 @1:58 PM
Edited 02/27/2021 @1:31 AM

  THE COOL SENSATION OF THE wall against Andrea's back was soothing as her eyes stared blankly ahead of her. She felt empty and cold. As if everything inside of her had been taken out and replaced with ice.

  Her brain, however, wasn't as frozen as the rest of her. Instead, it was running at a hundred miles per hour, jumping from thought to thought. It left her disoriented. Confused. Torn.

  After the tears had subsided, there was nothing left. Not a single inclination as to what she should do. Every part of her longed to find Bucky, but each call made to the number in her phone had led to not even a god-damn voicemail.

Andrea wanted nothing more than to be able to tell him that she was there for him, because he'd once been there for her.

She only wished that there were some way she could make Bucky understand that it was okay to reach out. But, he was afraid— and not just of hurting her, but of hurting anyone else that might get caught in the crossfire. In all the empty spaces HYDRA had emptied out inside of them, there were vast and unknown terrors to be unleashed.

  And there was nothing the Jones woman could relate to more than the fear of losing control.

  Andy would've liked to that say she knew all this simply because she knew Bucky. But, the truth was that she didn't. Not anymore. The reason behind her intricate knowledge didn't lay in their shared past, but in their shared fears. The same fears that often made Andrea want to run, too.

Not just from the destruction HYDRA had created, but also from the friends who so desperately wanted to be let back in.

  However, unlike Andy, who knew how to— somewhat— tame her demons, Bucky seemed less inclined to know how to quiet the screaming in his head. Andrea knew how to anchor down her memories and silence them until they seemed almost nonexistent. But, the Barnes man never had that luxury. Never had the same chances she did.

  All she wanted was to show him that there were more things to celebrate than there were to mourn. If he would just give her the chance, she knew that she could help. No need to mention that she hardly knew how to help herself.

  What a joke, she thought, fingers curling into fists. The wound inside of her seemed to intensify the more she thought about it. She wanted to scream— to cry and destroy something. It would do nothing, Andy knew that. But, at the very least, it might have eased the pain.