Destruction ━ Bucky Barnes [2]

17 ━ FOOL'S WISH

DESTRUCTION.
( chapter seventeen.)

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  IN THE AFTERMATH OF it, Andy found that she wasn't sad— she was furious.

And so she called him.

Again and again, over and over, until he picked up with a vicious exhaustion in his voice. "Enough."

  "Do you blame me?" She demanded, spitting the question out before he could hang up. Her voice broke as she asked, and she needed that answer. If he wanted this to be a goodbye, then she needed to know.

"What?" He breathed the question out, like he was exhaling the words from his lungs.

"You think it was your fault that you couldn't save me," she explained, pausing to even her shaking voice. "So, do you blame me for not being able to save you too?"

There was a long silence, and Andy knew that he was angry. She knew in the way that only she could know; just by the slight change in his breathing. The muttering of exhausted irritation with her question.

  "How can you ask me something like this?" He finally spoke, "I could never blame you for that." His words were low, angry with what she was implying.

  Andy felt herself deflate, the physical apprehension fading from her taught muscles. Her tears were warm as they fell. "Then why would you ever think that you're to blame for what happened to me?"

  She held her breath, trying to keep back her sobs— because the truth was that Andy blamed herself. Not just for her own capture, but because she couldn't save him either. If this was a guilt he wanted to carry, then he needed to know that she carried it all the same.

"I don't blame you for what HYDRA made us do," she spoke softly. "And I understand how you feel, more than anyone, but I need to know that you're safe."

  Bucky was silent, but she knew he was listening.

"I don't care if you call once a week, or even once a month. As long as I know you're okay, I won't ask more of you," she finished, inhaling sharply as she realized what that meant.

But, she would give up whatever she had to— even if it meant that she could only hear his voice.

  "You don't have to give me an answer now, or even tomorrow." She heaved a ragged sigh, "But, please don't blame yourself for what they did to me— or you."

More silence.

"If this is goodbye, I'm sorry I couldn't do more," she whispered, and then the call was over.

The tears quickly turned to frustrated rage after that. Andrea was sick and she was tired. God, she was tired of this unfairness. Ultron had ruined everything— HYDRA had ruined everything.