The Gone Town

Unconstructed

It was another shabby morning. Everything was going usual. The sun was bright and shiny, the clouds looked  puffy and the wind threw itself on Houston.  I hesitantly left for school for another busy/getting bullied day.  I had a chance to change my school last day, but I guess if I find a way to cope here like all the others, I could survive high school. After all, this is my last year of high school. I should get there. Right?

When I enter my classroom, the first thing I see is a heavy metal hitting me right to the head. It starts hitting me many, many times. The doors where locked so that the teachers wont be able to hear my ear-piercing screams. My eyesight starts to blur. Like really fuzzy. I eventually started bleeding from my head. I could tell that I'm a second away from having my knees on the floor. I could only tell they were hitting me because I heard them laughing and gasping and then laughing again. In this short time, I went through a massive amount of pain that I actually forgot what  the real pain felt like. This was just something more than pain, beyond to be exact. I thought I would panic, but I actually found myself aggrieved this time. I could feel my blood boil. I was wanting to fight, but I found myself very drowsy at the moment. For a moment, I wasn't able to discern anything. And finally, I gave up.

I open my eyes at a very well known place. No, it is not my bedroom. Its the hospital. I could feel something very huge and heavy on my head. I woke up startled, but found myself calming me down for the next few seconds. Mom, dad and Bri were staring at me without any emotion. I couldn't tell if they were concerned or not. They seem lost for words. I felt something shiny on moms eye. It escaped through her face as she wipes it away with her index finger.

"What wrong?" I ask them, concerned                                                                                                                    "Nothing dear" says mom. "Why don't you lay your head back to your pillows and rest for a while?                                                                                                                                                                                            I did as I was instructed, but some rapid questions flooded my mind.

Why is she crying? Why am I in the hospital? Why am I not present at my cozy room? Why do I not find mom giving me her savory hot chicken soup? Why is Bri silently sobbing? Why is my dad covering his head in the newspaper? Why am I not in school?

These questions overwhelm me and I start to panic. My breathing became hitched to my lungs and I felt myself very fragile. They seemed to have noticed me panicking and hurried to me. I could feel soft, warm pats on my back and lightly heard themselves muttering "Its goin to be alright" and "calm down".

Somehow, I felt myself pacify. This is the moment when I truly understood that my parents are the only ones who can calm me down during a panic attack. I could tell that my face was loaded with tears as I hugged them more tightly than ever. We broke up, to see Bri staring motionless towards the front door. You could see her long, blonde and curly hair cover her face as she shone with insipidness. 

She came towards me and hugged me firmly as well.                                                                                             "Sorry freckles." said Bri. This is what she used  to call me whenever she needs my help.                     "What for?" I asked, bamboozled.                                                                                                                                    "I- I was just... you know..worried." finished Bri."I thought something absolutely severe happened to you because the whole school was literally talking about you. Oh my days! the rumors I've heard! I'm so glad they're not true. Really.                                                                                          And I'm very sorry that you got diagnosed with fainting disorder. It must be really hard, right? Well, I did the best I could do and I also made you a fancy get well soon card. Here, look! It even got my favorite stickers, and yours too. " said Bri handing me the card. But I did not accept it. I was too numb to do so.                                                                                                                                                       

A fainting disorder? Really?! How much should I suffer?!                                                                                       First starting with the migraines then post-traumatic stress disorder then anxiety disorder then panic disorders and now fainting disorders too?!                                                                                                    I looked at my parents, sharing them a look of revulsion. This is why my mom looked pale and my dad covered his head inside the paper too. 

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I can explain. We didn't really want to convey this news to you as soon as you gained your consciousness. We do not want to make you feel even more drained" said mom.

"Mom, dad, please tell me the truth." I asked                                                                                                      Can I ever be normal? Like all the other kids you know."

They both shared each other worn-out looks.