Protective

She Fell First

Lana

"You can't be serious!"

Yeremy eyed me as he continued to drive, "Of course I'm serious."

"I don't want this!" I repeated, "Don't you get that?"

"Trust me," he snapped, "If there's one thing I get by now it's that you don't want to do this."

"You don't have any idea what it's like to live the way they're asking me to live, Yeremy," I breathed, "No contact with anyone. Homeschooling. Not being able to leave the estate. I can't go back to that."

He took a deep breath, "They're not really giving you a choice."

I groaned, irritated and angry. I don't know what I wanted from him but I was angry at him. He wasn't doing anything.

It was supposed to be him. Yeremy was supposed to protect me.

I needed him to protect me from this too.

"Don't take me home," I continued, "Please."

"I can't just do that—

"Pull over here—

"Lana. I can't."

"Pull over here!" I demanded, "I need a few minutes. Please."

He sighed, muttering something under his breath before pulling over to the side of the empty road. This was the only road that led up to my house and if I was going back to prison then I needed to collect myself.

I knew there weren't many other options left here. Petyr found me tonight. He was only inches away from me and it probably wouldn't have been so easy to find me if it weren't for my job.

If he knew about Icon then he knew about school and that meant I couldn't go back there either. I'd be finishing up my last year at home now that Yeremy was returning to Russia.

Lana's little bubble was gone. Everything I had achieved at that school had become meaningless in a matter of hours. My teenage problems were nothing compared to the threat of danger looming over my head constantly.

"We can't stay long," he spoke, "I'm sure they want to see you, make sure you're unharmed."

I laughed, "Yes. They want to see if I'm unharmed."

"I understand that you're upset, but they're just trying to protect you."

"If this is what their protection will always feel like, then I'd rather fend for myself."

He shook his head, "You don't mean that."

"I do," I said, "At least I'd have more of a fighting chance. Then the second he got close, I'd kill him and all of this would be over."

"Lana—

"What are you so worried about?" I questioned, "Here you are trying to console me like you haven't distanced yourself from me. You don't care. This is a job to you."

I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. It was as if someone had pressed a button and every single one of my thoughts was escaping my lips.

"But that isn't even the worst part," I laughed, "The worst part is that I don't want you to go. I want you to keep protecting me. Yours is the only way that feels right. You don't suffocate me like they you." I looked at him, "You make me feel safe."

"Lana—

"Don't go," I said, cutting him off again, "Don't leave me like this."

His eyes softened completely as he looked at me, reaching over with his thumb to wipe the tears I didn't even know were falling down my face.