Only In Your Dreams - Flowers from 1970 (concept idea)

Life.

the seemingly quiet halls in the morning felt so loud with all my thoughts. I walked over to the nearest restaurant. As I sat down, it all sort of hit me. this was real, I was actually happy in a new place with so many new experiences ahead of me here. I could feel it. the thought of the future helped me let go of being held back by the past. I was always so fixated on the past I forgot to focus on the present and really missed out on some great opportunites because of it. All my life I was so scared of the future I never thought it would eventually bring me peace, but at this point I was tired of constantly being restricted and being so caught up on the past that I didn't get to actually LIVE life. the whole point of life is to enjoy it to the fullest, and it's important to acknowledge and look back on your old memories too. But you cant live in your memories, you can't live in the past and life is constantly moving forward with or without you, it feels surreal to look back on all this and see how much has changed so quickly but you don't get the chance if your not growing and learning from new things and not being stuck on what's in the past. watch how you have changed over time and instead about being upset of what's going on in the present take a moment to see how much you have improved since then and how much better you have gotten as you have learned along the long crazy journey of life. Think about how proud your old self would be! and how you can continue to stay on that path. Ways you can continue to improve and grow as a person for the good. If you don't think your old self would be proud then it's a sign you need to change. nothing can stay the same forever. No matter how many times you wish it could. you just have to trust the process and heal over time. It's best to stay positive honestly, being in a negative mindset for so long will slowly deteriorate you and your life will come falling apart. You will never live in this moment again. so no matter how small, or how insignificant it may seem.. it's important to cherish and appreciate it. be greatful for what you have before it's gone, cause if you don't you'll end up stuck on that regret for the rest of your life. just enjoy it and live in the moment. live life like you never have before. Take the risk, other wise you will never know what you could be missing out on.

Of course I missed George, and I probably always will. but holding both of us back from our futures any longer wasn't going to help no matter how much another side of me wants to convince myself otherwise.

what coming to England has brought me is something I can't be more greatful for. a new perspective on life.