I FELL IN HATE WITH YOU

Chapter Three

Amara

It's been a week since the funeral. We shifted all their stuff to our place which is congested now. Nobody talks much to each other. All our eyes are bloodshot. we all secretly cry in corners but don't discuss it. We try to console each other every chance we get like others pain is more important than our own.

I'm worried for Ma the most. I heard Zara and Ma discussing last night that Zara will take her classes in correspondence hereafter so she can work full-time day at her evening firm.

I have also decided to get a part-time job that will help with my allowance and reduce the burden, I will be more than glad. we got very little from all the things of Nourah. Her husband had already sold everything she owned and whatever was left was taken when he eloped.

I'm in my thoughts of cursing her husband Ibrahim. I didn't notice, someone entering the room and movement around me. Ma sitting beside me on the floor in her room.

"Don't worry Amara, everything is going to be alright" she said.

"I hope so," I said.

"You should go back to school," she said. folding the pile of clothes I had pulled out of cabinets.

I always did that whenever I wanted to get things out of my head. I would quietly sit in some corner and organize anything I see like Cabinets, Cupboards, Drawers, and Shelves.

Ma would always help and we would discuss what's on my mind and fix it.

"What about them?" I asked.

"They will go to community school too, It will be on your way so please help them get settled during these tough times. They are now your siblings Amara. They have no one in this world now except us. They are Yateem, life is difficult as it is, and being Yateem(orphan) makes it a lot more difficult" she said.

"Yes Ma, I will take care of them," I reassured. 

My Ma just smiled at me and continued helping me.

Jahan came running into the room with a school bag.

"Qala jaan, Zara Aapa said I have to go to school again. I don't want to go. I want to stay home" he said. My mom took the bag from his hand. She asked "Why Jahaan jaan? School is very important. Your Zara Aapa, Amara Aapa even Asiya Aapa will go to school tomorrow. You will be all alone when I go to work. When you go to school you will have friends to play with."

"But I can't leave Mamma and go," he said.

"Your Mamma is in heaven, Jahan," I said.

"No Zara Aapa said Mamma is with angels now, if I eat and pray on time, she can see me. If I go to school she will come and I won't be at home. Mamma will cry." he said.

I wanted to hug my brother and cry my eyes off for the life they get without a choice.

"Jahan, Mamma is with angels and she missed you a lot and prayed to Allah to never be separated from you. Allah is very kind he agreed so he sent Mamma to you last night. Now she lives here all the time. So you have to be a good boy all the time and she will always see you from here." Ma said pointing at his heart.

Jahan was smiling now and touching his chest like a treasure is locked in it.

The next morning we all get ready. I don't complain about anything. I'm just thankful to be alive. I find comfort in existing for the people that I love the most.

I walk into the living room. Asiya is all set to go eating her cereal. Ma is helping Jahan and Zara had already left for work. I grab a few bites myself and take the sandwiches Ma had made for lunch and leave. While we are walking to school I couldn't resist but ask Asiya.