I FELL IN HATE WITH YOU

Chapter Six

Amara

We always prayed to be normal. Nothing else.

No big dreams.

No unrealistic expectations.

They always say a woman is the life of the house. A single woman can turn your life from hell to heaven.

My mom would have If she lived differently if only my dad took the responsibility. Maybe we would have a normal childhood. Now we are always accused. We met Taleem a few days ago and like Ma said he is pious with a beard, Prayers all the time, and Kind brown eyes. Indeed he is a man with morals, he never misses his chance of justifying that what he did was not wrong it is halal. His family does not agree. Abuse that burns deep to turn our blood black.

If she wanted security that bad she should marry Zara to him instead of herself. At least a young wife would be enjoyable. She could warm his bed better, bore him more children and less burden.

We were never supposed to learn the evil ways of how twisted a tongue can get. They were spilling poison with every word. Cursing for our ruins as if we were not ruined already.

We came to school the next day like nothing ever happened. Zara and Ma are not on talking terms I have no idea how long it will take for them to talk again. I lost my focus on whatever was happening around me.

During lunch, I open my locker to find several notes. Some of them confess their feelings, Some giving hope of a false future, Some complimented and one of them apologized. I see there are people around me. I'm suspicious on everyone. I take all the notes and dump them into the trash.

Whoever is sending them should know I can't afford to have this normal teen life. Our world is burned and corrupt. We are living through the ashes of whatever is left.

Sara comes to me to check if I'm okay. I'm not so I don't answer and go to class. I never received notes after that for quite some time. 

Until one day after weeks when I saw Neil standing near my locker. I walk up to him and then ask what's happening he turns around and I find a sticky note in his hand.

"Was it you? this whole time" I yelled. I'm aware he is clueless about the source of my anger. He doesn't deserve it deep down I know.

"Why the hell did you do that? Was running away from you not enough? are you and your making fun of me right now." I yell and he is startled at my outburst but doesn't say anything just stands in shock.

"I'm sorry for bothering you" written in childlike familiar handwriting.

I take the note rip it and yell again.

"You don't have to apologies just go away" I pity him for his bad timing.

He leaves.

I went to the school rooftop because it was hard for me to breathe. I couldn't take it anymore. I was crying my eyes off. I don't want to go home. I don't want people to tell me everything will be fine. I've been the strongest among all of us. I couldn't tell them how my life was changing. Maybe I should just jump off from here. It is one free fall then everything will be over I don't have to be strong anymore. After what felt like forever I see someone sitting three feet away from me.

Rohail.

He didn't say or ask anything. I'm not sure if he recognizes me.

Out of all the things that could have happened on that rooftop he did the most unexpected thing. It was almost evening everyone had left. He stood on the edge of the roof came towards me and gave me a handkerchief.

I hesitated before taking it.

I wiped my face.

He still hadn't said anything.

He jumped down from the edge to the floor of the terrace.

"Follow me," He said.

I didn't want to follow. He is the same gender which is the reason I'm crying right now. but I follow because his idea looks more sensible than jumping off a roof.

I keep following for fifteen minutes and not a word until now. I think he has forgotten, I'm still two steps behind him.

We are almost in an isolated area at the end of the campus grounds. There is a land slope almost like a cliff with an edge. he sits there by the edge.

I could see the entire town from here. It is dangerous yet beautiful. Then he taps a place next to him. I go sit at a three feet distance forgetting all the shitty things happening.

"When I count to three we will scream till we can't" He said. I'm surprised at what is happening.

All I see is him raising his hands. I can't help but notice a thick silver bracelet which is almost like a bangle with a small opening resting on his forearm.

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

We both started screaming at the top of our lungs, till all my frustration sadness and everything blurred with the tears in my eyes. All I could remember was the sun setting by the end of it, we were both smiling. Nobody heard us and we didn't need to talk about it. We silently got back the way we went there once I was near the school parking he went to his bike and I grabbed my things and left for home.

After ages, I was able to sleep that night without the nightmares of someone abusing us or being trapped in a dark place.

I was kind of excited to go to school the next morning. To my surprise the first person I see is him. But his face is stone cold. No emotions or acknowledgment at all.

I was pushed back to being the ghost I have always been.

We never crossed paths after that day, but that place became my regular spot even if I'm not screaming It became an escape from reality, just like that day had become a dream.