You Signed Up for This / Jaime Lannister (2.1)

9. Old Flames

What should have been a happy celebration, wasnt. Jaime and rieka arrived at the capital to another funeral.

"Im glad to see you are with child," tywin remarked.

"Im glad as well." Rieka agreed softly. "Im sorry for your loss."

"Make me a grandson." Tywin countered before walking away.

"Im going to have ten girls just to piss you off." Rieka murmured.

"Ten?"  Jaime questioned.

"Yes. To piss off your father. All girls." Rieka agreed.

"Ten." Jaime repeated. 

"Too many? I had a big family, I dont know the pain of childbirth, I might be done after this one." Rieka offered with a shrug. 

"I like the thought of ten little sassy mouthed girls like you running around."  Jaime assured touching her cheek. 

"Where is Cersei? I wanted to give her my condolences." Rieka remarked. 

"I dont know." Jaime murmured. 

"How are you doing?" 

"I failed her." Jaime remarked running his hand over RIeka's arm. "I failed them both, Myrcella and Cersei." 

"No you didnt." Rieka assured. 

"But I did. I wasnt there." Jaime murmured. 

"You are not the fighter you used to be." Rieka reminded him. "And poison, thats... well-"

"Twice. Joffrey and now Myrcella both poisoned." Jaime reminded her. 

"I'm so sorry Jaime." Rieka said hugging him gently and he wrapped his arms around her. 

"She was my little girl and I hadnt seen her... she left a little girl came back a young lady." Jaime remarked. "I missed so much." He locked eyes with Rieka pulling her back slightly. "I won't miss a day of this childs life." Jaime decided. 

"You signed up for this, i'm just along for the ride." Rieka mused. "Go to Cersei, she will want a shoulder to cry on." 

"Will you come with me?" Jaime questioned. Rieka nodded holding onto his hand, his golden hand before switching sides and grabbing his hand of flesh. Jaime chuckled as she interlocked their fingers together. He heard the bells and pulled RIeka to the window. 

"Bells for Myrcella?" Rieka questioned. Jaime nodded. Jaime took a moment to compose himself, before Jaime turned and looked back into Cerseis room hesitantly before entering. Rieka stopped at the door, she felt like she was about to intrude on a private moment but Cersei was her friend, Jaime was her husband even though Jaime was the love of Cersei's life. 

" Do you remember the first time you saw a dead body?" Cersei questioned not looking at him.

"Mother." Jaime answered. Rieka's face turned down, Bran looked dead he looked so dead but he was a live then, she thought back on that statement as Jaime got closer to Cersei. Plenty of people that she didnt know, winters were harsh and people were not prepared but the only memorable death, one she saw with her own eyes was her father and yet Robb's death, a death she didnt see was engraved in her mind. Her mother, how they slit her throat to the bone, how they sewed Robb's head on his direwolf or maybe his wolf's head onto his body, RIeka pictured both and it made her sick. 

"All I could think about when she died was what would happen to her now. Every day, every night, what does Mama look like now? Has she started to bloat? Has her skin turned black? Have her lips peeled back from her teeth?" Cersei whimpered tears pulling at her eyes.

" I think about locking Myrcella in a crypt." Cersei added through a choked breath. "I think about her beautiful little face starting to collapse."

"Shh, shh. Don't think about it." Jaime begged. Rieka wondered what happened to her mother and brother, knew that Robb requested their fathers bones returned but his head was still on a spike, Rieka wished they would take it down, she couldnt walk that way, knew how cersei felt even though it was cersei that did nothing to stop joffrey, but she couldnt stop the king, no one could. Not until his blasted wedding day. 

" I have to. I have to. It's not right she has to suffer alone." Cersei sobbed out.

"She's not suffering. She's gone. No one can hurt her anymore." Jaime corrected.

"She was good. From her first breath, she was so sweet. I don't know where she came from. She was nothing like me. No meanness, no jealous, just good." Cersei declared

"I know.' Jaime agreed softly. Cersei glared back at him. "I'm agreeing with you." Jaime remarked. Her gaze turned to Rieka and down to her stomach and her heart dropped out of her chest seeing her pregnant with what she thought was Jaime's child. 

"I thought if I could make something so good, so pure...maybe I'm not a monster." Cersei murmured still staring at Rieka's stomach. 

"Listen -- listen to me. She was my daughter and I failed her." Jaime reminded her.

"No, I knew this would happen. The witch told me years ago. She promised me three children. She promised me they'd die. And gold their shrouds." Cersei recalled.  "Everything she said came true. You couldn't have stopped it. It's prophecy. It's fate."

"You don't believe that." Jaime countered.

"Of course I do.  You said we had to stay together. You said people would try to tear us apart, take what's ours. That was a prophecy, too. I didn't listen to you, and everything you said came true." Cersei spat.

"Fuck prophecy. Fuck fate. Fuck everyone who isn't us.  And everything they've taken from us, we're going to take back and more." Jaime remarked hugging his twin. "We're going to take everything there is."

Rieka's lips suddenly went dry as she swallowed the lump in her throat, backing out of the room she hesitated. Jaime loved Cersei, that love didnt just fade, they had a good few moons at Casterly rock but maybe they shouldnt have come back. Neither could move on, try again with old flames popping up.