" VACATION. " || a south park x reader || disc.

HOMOSEXUAL VS HOMOCIDE || VII

|| GOOD MORNING, BELOVED! ||

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" were the very first words you yelled since you've moved here. What a shocker.

What was actually shocking however, was how there was now a large hole in the side of the mall, and right in front of it stood...

"CARTMAN?!" "FATASS!" "ERIC??" A chorus of yells came out at once, and he just laughed loudly.

"HAHAHAHA! ERIC CARTMAN IS NEVER REFUSED BY ANYONE- ESPECIALLY NOT NASTY ONES! NOW," He coughed, covering his face as you four watched, absolutely bewildered. Baffled, even.

"Now, I will give you a choice, hand [Y/N] over to me or I blow you all-"

"They're not a fucking item, fatass! They're not nasty either! Listen here, you absolute dimwit, you're going to get the fuck out of here, or I will mop the floor in your blood and use you as fucking pig food!" Wendy cut him off, yelling as she raised a fist at him and took a step forward.

"Oh, look at Wendy, trying to be all high-and-mighty! What, already catching feelings?" Cartman cooed out mockingly, as he made a heart with his chubby hands and directed it at you and Wendy. This made her face practically go red, out of anger or fluster, you had zero clue.

"I literally just met all of you literally yesterday?? What the fuck??" You tried to be the voice of reason despite being completely dumbfounded that this, of all places, was where you had to spend your damn summer in. However, it's kind of like they had already blocked you out as Wendy and her the girls yelled at Cartman while he yelled back.

'This place is the literal embodiment of Hell, isn't it.' You thought, but it wasn't even a question. From the dudes you've just met blowing up the mall to the girls you've also just met not giving a shit and literally taunting him.

"...I wanna go home," You whispered under your breath, dragging your hand down your face and sighing. This was going to be far from the silent summer you'd wished for. Damn your parents, binding you to this stupid, shit stain of a town!

"Fuck you fatass!" The girls yelled in sync, and you suppose that he must've had enough because while you were in your shocked state, he ended up cursing them off and leaving in some weird ass Cartman way.

"...im gonna head home now," You said, turning on your heel and walking off at a brisk pace. You needed some time to process what the hell was going on and what would be going on during your stay here. Maybe the girls were calling after you, maybe they weren't, but you couldn't hear them over the sounds of your internal questions. You probably looked really out of it as you walked down the street and towards your house, not sparing anyone or anything until you heard a quiet meow, stopping you in your tracks.

You turned to a nearby bush where the sound came from, slowly approaching it and carefully pushing some leaves and sticks out of the way, being careful of any sharp or broken edges. There sat a quite skinny cat and two kittens. The larger, presumably adult one, looked up at you and tried to hiss at you. Keyword; tried. The poor thing could barely get a sound out, it came out very quiet and even raspy. The two kittens were sleeping, the only thing keeping them from looking dead was the soft breathing and the occasional tail twitching.

...Fuck.

Now here you are, not even an hour after the mall blowing up, with three cats in your house, eating and drinking out of small cereal bowls you found in your cupboard. They were devouring it like they hadn't eaten in the past week. Now that you think about it, they probably didn't from the looks of it.

You'd also have to find some way to bathe them without getting absolutely mauled to death.

Does this town even have a veterinarian?

...maybe you wouldn't want to trust them if they work here, of all places. You'll just hire your own vet instead.

Oh well, what else is there to even do?

|| SWEET DREAMS, DARLING. ||