Not quite there yet

~Library incidents

We met back in the common room after grabbing the things we needed from our dorms. 'To the library we go,then.' Evan says. Evan and Barty holding hands while walking. They really do have separation anxiety  or attachment issues to each other. 

We walk into the great hall. The place ive spent so many days hiding my face in a book away from the real world or writing my "Sad boi poetry" as Evan and Barty refer to it. I dont agree with that term just because i write about trauma sometimes doesn't mean its sad. My trauma makes me who i am. Me and Pandora walk over to the poetry section to see if there is any new books. I pick up one of the new books and look at it. 

I hear Barty and Evans steps. 'Hey reg isnt that your brother and his boyfriend.' Barty asks as he approaches me. I look up and there they are Sirius and Remus. My older brother and the boy who i had liked. Even if it was just a small crush. Remus was a nice guy before my idiot brother corrupted him.  I sigh. And of course they are making out in the fucking library. And of course they are standing where we have to walk past them to get out. ughhh. 

I put the book back and just walk straight past them. I walk out of the library. I then feel a hand on my shoulder. It was Evan. 'Regulus are you okay?' I knew it was serious and sincere. Expecially because he used my full name and didnt call me "Reg". 'Im fine i just want to be alone so if you'll excuse-' He interupted me. 'Regulus ive known you for years. Your not okay and thats perfectly fine. But please tell me whats wrong.' I sigh. 

What am i supposed to say. Do i just tell him the full truth on how im upset that my brother was fucking making out with the boy i liked and he used to complain about and how they were making out in My safe space. Sirius used to fucking complain about Remus every time we spoke. Now hes making out with him in the library? i sigh. 

'Evan its nothing really im okay.' i fake a smile for him. Evan chuckles and pats my back. 'Mate i can tell your not. im not stupid.' he smiles. 'Regulus please tell me whats wrong. i want to help you reg please.' Hes being so genuine. Oh  my god i hate it. Why are  my friends like this. i sigh. 'Fine you really wanna know im pissed of that my brother-' I stop mid way because Barty and Pandora are walking up to us and im not telling everyone about this.

Evan looks confused then he turns around. 'Oh right.' I liked that about evan he was understanding. Well most of the time. 'Are you two okay we saw Reg rush out.' I look at Evan. 'I just wanted to step out for a moment i got overwhelmed.' Shit that was a terrible lie . what the fuck was i thinking. i never tell them about getting overwhelmed or anxious or anything.

 I give  Evan a look signalling to just roll with it. 'Yeah and i followed him out to see he was okay' Oh good he understood. 'Why does Evan know about you getting overwhelmed but we dont. Regulus you know you can tell us if you get overwhelmed. dont you?' Pandora looks sort of hurt. I feel so bad. 'This isnt about you being overwhelmed is it?' I can tell Barty knows the truth.

 It would make sence seeing as i had told him about my crush on Remus. Too be honest i dont know if it really was a crush but it was something. 'Reg how was that poetry book you were looking at.' Pandora knew she always knew when i was getting uncomfortable or anxious or when to change the topic. I love her so much.