ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛᴡᴏ

ᴢᴏᴇ 2.0

ZOE

Lala was in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test. I guess after being around Sofia's baby today, she felt the need to know if she was pregnant.

We'd been trying for months maybe even a year with all the fertility treatments and injections, but every time, the results are the same, which leaves Lala in a fragile state.

I don't even know if I want a baby. Diaper changes. Baby vomit? Today was all too real for me. I couldn't even gold Sofia's baby. I was too scared that I'd drop him. Hearing her and seeing her in all that pain scared me. What if that happens to Lala?

Lala wants a baby. She always has, and a big part of me agreed to that so she'd be happy.

When Lala emerged, she was pale, a thin, white stick clutched in her hand. "It's negative," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

She crumpled onto the couch next to me, her body shaking with silent sobs. I wrapped my arm around her, drawing her close, my heart aching at her pain. "Lala, I'm so sorry," I whispered.

She sniffled, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "It's just... it's been so hard, Zoe. I thought this time it might be different. I thought we had a chance."

I held her tighter, I knew the toll it had taken on Lala, physically and emotionally. "Lala, you're so strong, and we'll keep trying."

She nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I know. It's just... seeing those negative results, it's hard not to lose hope."

I kissed the top of her head, my heart breaking for her. "I understand. But we're in this together, and I believe in us. We'll get through this."

She was hurting so much. So, I held her close.

"I was thinking...." Lala said. "Maybe you could carry the baby.."

My eyes widen, and I quickly got up. "W-what?"

Lala lifted her shirt and pulled the waistband of her pants, showing me the small scaring from the injections.

"I want to carry our baby more than anything, but it's not happening for me, and the doctors say you're fertile." Lala says desperately.

"No. I can't do that, Lala." I say to her.

"Why not?" She asks.

"Because!" I say pausing to look for a possible and gentle way to say this. "Look, babe, I love you, but when you brought up having kids, you agreed to carry it."

"I'm aware of that, Zoe, but what can I do if Mother Nature won't let me." Lala says, her voice rising in desperation. "We won't be young forever."

Truth is, I like the way our life is now. Vacations in bora bora. Summers in Hawaii. Just me and Lala. I don't know why it's not enough for her. Like I'm not enough for her..

"I can't do it."

"Why not Zoe? What am I missing here?" She asks.

"I'm afraid, okay! I'm irresponsible. I'm clumsy, and I'm also wild." I start. "If I get pregnant, what if I like fall down a flight of stairs and kill the thing."

"Zoe, you're not gonna fall down a flight of stairs." Lala assures me.

"But I might. There's like a seventy percent chance this kid would grow to hate me. Then there's the pregnancy and the morning sickness, and then worst of all comes the birth... my virgina will never be the same Lala." I cope through sarcasm and humor. Right now, it's I can't tell if I'm joking or not.

"Zoe, of course your virgina will recover." She says calmly.

"Okay, but what if I have to get a c section. I'm afraid of needles. Lala, I can't handle being sliced open like a knocked up tuna."

"Zoe, you're overreacting."

"No, you're under reacting. Look, I talked to Sofia today, and she is in a seriously bad shape." I say to her.

"Well, she had a gun pointed to her head less than forty-eight hours ago, so I can imagine." Lala agrues.

"You're not listening, Lala... what if I fucking die giving birth to the thing. Fifty percent of women die from childbirth."

"That's not true." Lala says, folding her arms.

Ok, she's right. I made that last part up.

"But it could be." I answer.

"You're not going to die from giving birth. It's safer now."

"Can't do it."

"Zoe, just consider it." She says.

I violently shake my head and begin to pace. "I can't do it, Lala. I can't handle pregnancy it's just not who I am."

"Zoe, please just think about it."

"That's the problem. I'm always thinking about it! It was fine when you agreed to rent out your womb for nine months, but it's different when it's me." I say to her in a panicky tone.

"So you're okay with me dying in childbirth?" She says.

"AH HA! You said that would never happen, so you admit it's dangerous."

"You're twisting my words." She says, clearly annoyed at this point.

"There are other ways to get a baby. Can't we just like get one from one of those shelters? Or maybe we can find a pregnancy teen who doesn't want and like I don't know buy it."

"Zoe, you can't buy a baby. And I want this baby to be a part of one of us."

"Why would you want to create a Zoe 2.0? I'm a mess." I say in pure panic.

"You're not a mess."

"Can't I just like give you my egg since yours aren't working?"

Lala's expression changes from frustration to hurt.

Fuck me..

"That's low Zoe." She says to me.

"Lala, you know that not what I-" She brushed past me and ran up the steps. "Meant..."

I groan loudly and slump onto the couch. I want Lala to be happy, but I can't do it.

Maybe she's hormonal.... no, she's definitely hormonal.

Fuck. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I love Lala so much.  I'd give her my heart if she needed it. Even if that meant I'd have to die so she could live.

But I don't think renting out my womb is the solution...

I didn't even know Lala wanted kids this bad until after we were married. I literally don't know what to do....

__________

I laughed alot during this I'm so sorry. And to be honest here I gave Zoe a lot of my personality maybe to much🤣