Love Always (NG4)

47 - Deal breakers

After a few weeks in the south, Sam was back in Ohio. The air was crisper, but nothing like it would have been like in Maine in mid October. He took one visit home and regretted it almost immediately. He couldn't believe Maddie wanted him to stop by, but he walked to Gull with a heavy heart. Maddie was home alone.

He looked around. "Where are the kids?"

"Jack took them to Walmart. They'll be home soon."

He sighed. "Jack must hate me."

"He doesn't hate you. What are your deal breakers? What couldn't you forgive?"

He sighed. "Do you know why I did it?"

Maddie nodded. "My guess was you were jealous. Did you tell her to go after another guy? Sam, remember the variables. You gave them an engraved invitation."

He nodded. "Alison asked me what I couldn't forgive last fall. I told her Rory not loving me and marrying someone else. Maybe I'm forcing her hand. I keep thinking maybe she won't fall in love with him."

Maddie's eyes looked glossy. "She loves you. How will you feel if she dates him?"

He shrugged. "I told her to."

"She knows about your friend in Ohio."

Sam looked at Maddie. "Friend?"

"She said she was your first kiss."

Social media again. "We're just hanging out."

"Thanks to you, you're both single. She can date and you can too. I can't believe I am going to say this, but sometimes sex is just sex."

"So if Jack had sex with some random woman, you would forgive him?"

Maddie shook her head. "No, because we are married and not broken up. You could pick up a girl on your travels and get some frustration out, and you won't be cheating on her. It would be a physical thing, nothing more. That's the difference between young Ryan and Lana's Ryan, love, feelings, and commitment. You and Rory don't have the commitment."

They had the other two. Sam felt his cheeks get hot. "So sex is okay. Good to know, but I'm not interested. Am I the only guy in the world who never had casual sex?"

Maddie laughed. "I'm sure there are a few others."

Thankfully, the kids came home to spare more of Maddie's advice. He took them to the beach to avoid Jack. In Rory's messages, she said she loved him. Love shouldn't be so damn hard.

A month later, in another nondescript hotel room, he edited his diner photos. He visited the restored, old dining car in Portland while he was home. A theme was coming together, but he wasn't ready to mention it to his agent.

Tired, he had the familiar urge to crawl in bed and sleep. Instead, he scrolled through social media. Divorced dad's page was the place to see pictures of her. His status had changed from blank to "in a relationship". Anna said it was only one date, but there was a picture. He captioned the photograph "Amazing view". He could mean the Potomac River behind her, but Sam knew he didn't.

Sam wanted to critique the photograph from the angle to the centering, but the one thing he saw was her smile. Sam knew each of Rory's smiles, and the one in the photograph was not one she had flashed at him. He had seen the photo one when she was kind to others, including strangers. For Sam, her smile involved her entire face, especially her eyes. He had a phone full of examples. Her eyes weren't engaged. At least she didn't love the guy, yet.

In one month, his assignment was done, and then what? He was exhausted when he returned to Nonna's after a weekend at Bowling Green. He had great footage and the network feedback continued to be amazing. Nonna looked tired, and he wished just once she would let him take her out. Every week she cooked for him.