I can't remember || l.h | not finishing

// two \\

//C2::ICR//

Kimmi's POV:

:: 6:46am ::

I wake up sweating, I hate that flashback it's always scares the shit out of me, like it's actually happening again.

I sit up out of my soft double bed and pull up my sleeve and see that one cut that made me black out in my flashback. It's so deep. And ugly, I touched it slightly and I flinched, when I actually looked closer it has a bruise.

All my other scars are there too... ever single one of them.

I get out of bed and start getting ready for school. I grab out a pair of black skinny jeans and a random t-shirt I chuck my hair in a messy bun and apply my makeup. To bad makeup doesn't get rid of my ugliness.

I finish getting ready at 7:32am, i usually leave for school at 7:45am because school starts at 8 and I hate being up so early. It annoys me a lot.

I'm ready to leave at exactly 7:45am. No one was home in the morning because mum went to work and my sister just started a new job.

As I'm walking to I'm just thinking of all of the things people had said to me, I could make a list and it would just go on and on.

Worthless.
Ugly.
Fat.
Bitch.
Fucked up.

And it's just gets even worse, just me thinking about it makes me wanna cry. I didn't even realise I was actually crying until I was in the school gates.

I felt someone tap my shoulder it scared the shit out of me.

"Hey why you so jumpy." I look and see calli. (Pronunciation : kelly)

"Oh it's just you I thought it was-" I couldn't finish my sentence but she knows what I mean.

"Come let's get ready for class." She grabs my wrist and I quickly pull away, she touched my cuts.

Fuck it hurts!?

No one knows I cut... still.

"Sorry did I hurt you?" I just shake my head and then we I start walking calli starts walking with me, we walk in silence.

First class is history, me and calli hate it ,it's boring as fuck.

"So what did you do on the weekend?" Calli asks me as we enter the classroom of horror.

"Nothing." I never do anything besides sit in my room all day and well cry. Oh wait yeah cut too....

"Calli! Kimmi! Over here." I look over my shoulder and see our friend Nakita waving her hand in the air.

Me and Calli walk over to them and take the empty seats next to them.

They just talk about random shit while I stay quiet and think.

"Do you guys have a spare sharper I could have I lost mine?" I say popping into there conversation.

Nakita nods and grabs her sharper out she hands it to as I turn around I make it look like I put it in my pencil case but I actually put it in my pocket.

"Hey." I say but no one looks... I just stand up and go off to the toilets to do you know what.

As I enter the bathroom I can hear girls giggling.

Oh no it's Elle, one of my bullies. She reminds me of some one but I don't know who.

"Oh look who it is the little rat." She says looking at me though the mirror. All of her friends just start laughing.

"Come on guys lets go before we get a disease." They all exit the bathroom and I go in one of the toilet things.

I lock the door, pull up my sleeve and just stare at my scars. I start to cry and mumble to myself.

One cut.
Two cut.
Three cut.
A few more.

Less then 30 seconds latter my arms full with blood, I grab some toilet paper and clean myself up. I have to wait a while for the bleeding to stop.

After a while I finally go back to class I make it in time teachers late thank god.

// lunch //

First two class were terrible I almost started crying first and second class people were just throwing paper at me, I can't remember who.

I have trouble remembering most things.

"Hey Kim you k?" Calli says as we walk to the cafeteria. No I'm never okay.

"Yeah I'm fine, why?" I haven't felt fine in ages

"I don't know I only realised I never really see you eat anymore." Oh so now she realised, why didn't they realise when I was suffering more.

"Ah. I'm never really in a eating mood at school but at home pig out time." I lie with a fake laugh.

Calli nods as she puts her food and puts it on her tray. I told her I was gonna go find Nakita.

I walk down the hall to her locker she was there. That saved me time.

Wait she's not alone. Elle.

Elle whispering to Nakita, I can see Nakita shaking her head like like Ella telling Nakita to do something she doesn't wanna do.

Nakita turns around and she's got hurt in her eyes and I'm pretty sure she's about to cry. Then snap she's got a look on her face a mean one like what Elle would give me.

Elle and Nakita start walking my way and as they walk past me Nakita nocks my shoulder. What the hell.

"Oh sorry. I didn't mean to hit you but I'm sorry I'm such a drama queen with a ego." Nakita snaps at me, what is she talking about. They walk off and I'm clueless, what just happened.

I try not to cry because I'm pretty sure I just lost one of my best friends and I don't know why.

As I walk to the cafeteria I start crying so I keep my head down, bad idea.

I crash into... Luke Hemmings.

"Watch where your going you little fag!" He yells at me, walking straight past him.

I fell straight on my ass and it hurt so much. But I pick myself up and go to the cafeteria.

When I spot Calli she's not alone she with... Elle and Nakita. FUCK.

I just stand where I am watching as I see both of my best friends walk off with my bully.

What just happened.
Why me.
Now I'm really alone.
Fuck this shit.

I have only one thing that will take my mind off things, to the bathrooms I go.

When I at the bathrooms I'm hoping no ones in there...

Thank god, no ones here.

I go into the bathroom thingy just in case some one dose come.

I just feel like I'm repeating what happened in the morning.

One cut.
Two cut.
Three cut.
A few more.

The days not even close to finishing and I've got over 10 new fresh cuts.

A/N:: poor kimmi :-(( what happened with Nakita and Calli¿?

Kimmi is... me pretty much bc yolo.
5SOS as... themselves. //wow big surprise.//
Calli is... Post5sos_
Elle is... cloudyelle
Nakita is... beautiful_hemmo101

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Luke will be coming into the book lot more trust // well it is a L.H fanfic.

If anyone you guys have ideas for the book just comment them or pm me:-)

Am I the only one who hates the question 'are you okay¿' I mean look into my eyes and maybe you'll see all the hurt. A few days ago even my teacher asked me if I was okay. :-/

Anyway till next time guys bye xx