I can't remember || l.h | not finishing

// four \\

//C4::ICR//

Kimmi's POV:

I couldn't take it anymore.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU!!" I yelled on the top of my lungs, everyone stops but Tiffany slaps me.

"Don't you talk to us like that you little worthless rat!" I just wanna tell them everything there doing to me.

"Bitch." I whisper but maybe not quite enough.

"Lukey I'm tried will you please take over." Tiffany says giving Luke a kiss on the mouth.

"Sure thing." He pulls the kiss apart, walks over to me and smirks.

Next thing I knew he grabbed me and threw to the floor I shut my eyes in pain.

Funny I feel like I can feel a cold wind in my stomach.

"Omg look at that!" I open my eyes to see Elle pointing a- at my s- stomach.

NO NO NO!

I quickly sit up and pull my jumper and top back down.

No no this can't be happening.

"Ew you actually cut and burn yourself that's just wrong." Elle says people around laugh but Calli, Nakita and... Luke.

All three of them look like there about to cry, I understand for maybe Calli and Nakita but why dose Luke look upset.

Anyway I ran to the toilets and locked myself in there for the rest of the day.

// after school //

I actually got away with staying in the toilets which was a good thing I guess I should of just come home instead.

I walked a lot slower today like a lot slower i mean my mom got home before me.

When I get to the front door my eyes are bloodshot, I had to hide them from my mom because I can't keep keeping shit from her.

I start to unlock the door hoping she won't hear me but of course I had to knock into the coat and make it fall.

"Kimmi you home?" Shit.

"Yeah mom um... I'll be back I fell in mud and I need to shower I smell really bad!" I yelled back. I ran upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door.

When I looked into the mirror I looked like a bloody demon with all the fucken mascara that's gone on my face.

I turn on the shower, putting it on hot I honestly I just need a nice hot shower to calm down. I mean like almost the whole school knows I harm myself I mean no big fucken deal.

As I step in the shower I feel the hot water hit my skin it means so nice but it hurts so much.

I stop what I'm doing and think.

While I was thinking I had grabbed my blade my favourite one I keep at home safe behind the toilet.

I pushed it against my pale skin and watch the blood as it flows out. All the demons and voices in my head are telling me to do more until I have no more space left to cut.

When I'm finished the shower if full with blood but I couldn't care less.

Until I hear a knock on the door.

"Kim you done yet I need your opinion on something?" Fuck I gotta hurry up, shit my cuts are still bleeding though.

I have to find something to stop the blood, I grabbed my top and tied it around my arm it didn't cover the whole thing but it will have to do for now.

I pull my jumper over my head and walk over to the bathroom door.

"What's up mom." I fake smile.

"Well I'm going on a date tonight and I was wondering if you could help me out I need a dress." I nod while taking her hand walking into her room.

I don't even understand why she's asking me I mean she could just ask my sister when she got home.

I mean I only ever wear jumpers, leggings, jeans or sweatpants. Well I can't wear anything short can I?

"Mom why are you not asking Taylor for a opinion on a dress, because as you can see I'm not a very dressy person." she giggles I don't know why but I miss seeing my mom happy and giggle.

Because what I do to myself I can't enjoy life anymore, I've ruined myself on so many levels.

"Okay one she's only twelve and two I never do anything with you anymore." I make people sad and that makes me sadder.

"And your always locked in your room I feel like it's just me and Taylor living in the house." I can see the water filling up in her eyes.

After a while when you harm yourself you become an expert on the human body.

"Mom are you crying?" She's gonna make me cry.

"I just miss you so much I never get to see you anymore I feel like you don't even live here anymore." She says while a tear rolls down her face.

"Mom I'm so sorry I've just been um... caught up in life lately I promise I'll hang out with you more." I give her a warm 'smile' to confit her.

Then she pulled me into a big bear hug, I miss these hugs so fucken much.

"Mom I love you but I think you should wear that dress." I say seriously than giggle pointing to the black dress that will probably show her curves. yas my mom has curves at the age of forty.

"Okay thank you maybe this weekend we can go out." She smiles at me causing me to actually smile.

FUCK, I haven't done that in a while. A real smile it feels weird.

I went back into my room feeling 'okay' I don't feel like hurting myself for once.

"Sweet dreams." I whispered to myself feel happy, wow haven't felt that in a while.

How did my mom just make me happy by asking to hang out.

I have no idea but I like it.

A/N:: who's loving life ik kimmi is!!!

sorry I haven't posted in like a month I've been really busy soz.

if you haven't seen yet I've started writing another book it's called demos it's a michael clifford fanfic.

hopefully you'll like it

till next time guys bye

ily