I can't remember || l.h | not finishing

// three \\

//C3::ICR//

Kimmi's POV:

// after school //

For once not much bulling happened today, surprising.

When I got home no one was there everyone is still at work. When my mom gets home I told her I already ate dinner so I don't have to eat later.

"AHHH." I scream though the empty house.

I make my way to the kitchen and look for a lighter and smoke.

I find the lighter on the table and the smokes in one of the draws. I go to the bathroom and lock it just in case my mom and sister come home.

As I light the smoke I just watch the flames light up. The flames light up in my eyesight it's amazing to look at.

Okay let's get one thing straight, I don't smoke well I tried once but I didn't like it.

I only use the smoke to burn myself. It feels amazing knowing I'm hurting myself.

I light the smoke and pull my top up... and press the smoke to my body.

"Ahh fuck." It hurts so damn much but I couldn't care less about the pain.

I press the smoke against my skin two more times, when I'm
finally done, I wet the smoke and flash it down the toilet so no one can ever find it.

I do the smoke thing less now because my mom would know some ones been taking her cigarettes.

I can still feel the burning on my skin I rub it so it hurts a little less because I haven't done that in a few weeks.

I go back to my room and put my pj shorts on and just grab a random jumper, I brush out my hair and wash my makeup off.

When I get into bed I pull the covers over my whole body and just think for awhile before I go to sleep.

// 5:39pm //

I'm currently just sitting in bed staring at the wall... thinking.

I hear the front door down stairs open, my sis or mom are probably home.

"Kim I'm home!" I don't answer because who ever it was will just come in my room and tell me about there day.

I can hear them walking up the stairs it's my mom. She came into my room and gave my a kiss and hug while telling me about her day.

Her job is pretty interesting I guess, so is my sisters though that's why they tell me about there day.

After my mom finished talking she asked me if I maded myself dinner I just nodded giving her a smile.

While I was staring at the wall I fell asleep probably from boredom, I'm actually surprised I haven't died from boredom yet. I never do anything anymore.

// 1:15am //

*bing*

"What." Ahh I really gotta remember to put my phone on silent or better throw it out the window.

I look over at my nightstand and see my phone light up

**new message**

I unlock my phone and click on the message app, no one knows my number how so who would message me.

unknown: the next few days, are gonna be worst than others.

"What the fuck." Who would send something like that I can't only think of five people, Elle, Calum, Michael, Ashton and Luke... but how would any of the boys get my number.

It's most likely for Elle to get my number from. Oh my god no they did Nakita and Calli would never give Elle my number or would they.

I don't wanna think about it right now I just wanna sleep. And never wake up.

I put my phone back on my nightstand and fall back asleep straight away.

// 6:46am //

"Get up you lazy fuck!"

"What." I'm not a morning person I hate getting up but I hate everything. I open my eyes to see my sister hovering over me.

"What do you want? Oh never mind" I say rubbing my eyes. "Okay I'm up now get out of my room so I can get changed." My sister gets out of my room and I get up and walk over to wardrobe.

My chose is my black jeans a random tank top and my green day jumper, as I'm getting my jeans on I see the burns from yesterday they still hurt so much. When I take off my jumper I usually sleep in I have a look at my cuts, the ones from yesterday are starting to heal already, I've gotta try and not cut today but I don't think it'll work.

I finished getting dressed and went to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup, I put my hair in a messy bun like always and put my usually makeup on.

"Kimmi come and get breakfast!" Oh no not food. I grabbed my school bag and headed down stairs.

The smell of the food makes me sick and it's only toast and I can smell it from up stairs, hopefully I can say I'll eat it on the way to down and she won't mind because I really don't want to eat it I mean I'm fat enough as it is.

"Morning mom." Seeing the food makes it more tempting, I walk over to the table and look at my food.

You can't your to fat.

No wonder no one likes you I mean look at you.

I hate the voices in my head, they are the demons that live inside of me. Everyday they kill me more and more.

"I'm gonna eat it on the way to school." I 'smile' at my mom while grabbing the piece of toast, she smiled back at me and gave me a kiss on the forehead. She walked me out the door, waved goodbye and she went back inside.

As soon as she went inside I threw my toast on the grass while walking to school, when I made it to the school gates no one was there. I walked into the school doors and everyone was there like mostly everyone they were all laughing at something.

"Oh look who is it." Someone I don't even know says.

Everyone starts moving around, then I see... Elle, Nakita, Calli and Luke. Holy shit.

"Look who it is the ugly hoe." Elle says but of course she does she hates me. When Elle finishes everyone laughs.

Luke comes a little closer to me, his eyes wow there so blue and gorgeous as I'm staring into Luke's eyes he pushes me to the ground. Everyone starts to laugh again and points.

I look over at Nakita and Calli thinking they were maybe coming to help me out but no they were laughing at me..

I started to cry well more like ball my eyes out, how can they do this to me. Well they don't know I'm depressed or that I cut, but only if they knew.

A/N:: so much for true friends huh??

thank you guys so much for the votes views and comments your all amazing I love you all.

till next time guys bye ha