Kuch kahena tha

Part - 13

Veer holds her hands.

V : Ragini, jis Ragini ke baremein maine suna in ek hafte mein wo society ki care nahi karti.. aur dekh Riddhima bhi office jati hai , waha akeli tu kya karegi? Abhi tu weak hai. Samajhne ki koshish kar..

R : tum bhi toh office chale jaoge.. toh waha main akele kya karungi?

V : mere Mom Dad hain na.  Wo tujhe company denge.. aur waise bhi tumlog saare oldies ka bada jamega..

R : haaawww. Main oldie nahi hu. Tum honge oldie.. but on a serious note, kya aunty ko acha lagega mera wahan rahena? I mean unhe lagta hai main shayad pagal hu.. I mean unhone bola tha na doctor wali baat. Please don't misunderstand me Veer but I think unhe acha nahi lagega agar main wahan gayi.

V : aah kitna overthink karti hai tu buddhuu ?? Mom ne doctor ko dikhane isliye bola kyunki unhe teri parwah thi, unse nahi dekha ja raha teri yeh halat.  Aur unhone hi tujhe ghar le jane kaha.. aur han agar tujhe doctor nahi dikhana then it's okay. We all are with you.

Ragini was shocked to know this.

R : are you serious? Unhe bura nahi laga tum apna kaam dhandha chor ke mere peeche lage hue ho?

V : nahi bilkul nahi.. wo bhi toh yehi chahte hai..

R : matlab?

V : wo bhi yehi chahte hai ki main unki Bahu ki sewa karu..

R : Veer not again. Please yeh sari baatein mat karo. Main kabhi tumhe utna pyar nahi de paungi jitna tum mujhse karte ho. So better you move on from me..

She said seeing everywhere but Veer.

V : accha?

Ragini nodded.

V : toh yehi baat meri aankhon mein dekhke bolo..

R : mujhe kuch nahi kahena.. try to understand. Jo tum soch rahe ho wo nahi ho sakta.

V : acha acha abhi hum ish baremein baat nahi kartein hai. Tu aapna dimag shant jar. Thode din baad baat karte hai.. okay?

R : nahi mujhe kabhi bhi koi bhi baat nahi karni.. nahi karni nahi karni nahi karni bas.. mujhe tere ghar jana hi nahi hai. Tu ja. (She os getting hyper)

V : are are are.. okay acha calm down. Breath in breath out. Relax

Ragini got relaxed and looked at Veer with her doe eyes

R : main pagal toh nahi ho rahi hu na? Yeh jo bhi ho raha hai isse main thik toh ho jaungi na?

V : kya ho raha hai Ragini? Kya feel kar rahi hai?

R : pata nahi.. kabhi kabhi bohot gussa ata hai khud pe bina wajah, kabhi kabhi rone ka mann karta hai, kabhi kabhi pata hai Veer sab chorke kahi chale jane ka mann karta hai, kabhi anxiety hoti hai toh kabhi hyper ho jati hu. Inha kitna dard hota hai pata hai (she said keeping her hand on her heart).. kabhi kabhi lagta hai main paida hi kyuun hui.. aur kabhi lagta hai main mar hi jati toh acha hota. Tumhe pata hai main kai baar suicide karne ki bhi koshish ki hai par phir himmat nahi hui. Maine yeh sari baat kisiko nahi batai par tumhe bataya bharosa karke.. I know suicide karne ka sochna bhi galat hai par mera uss waqt khudpe control nahi tha. Kabhi kabhi itna rone ka mann karta hai ki kya bolu. Main na thak gayi hu. Mujhe yeh zindagi aur achi nahi lag rahi hai. Main strong bante bante pata nahi kab heartless ban gayi. Abhi toh kisi bhi baat ka koi dukh mahsos hi nahi hota. Mujhe lagta hai mere sath kabhi kuch acha hoga hi nahi. Main jo bhi karungi na mere parents ko wo galat hi lagne wale hai. Meri koi bhi chez meri Maa ko kyun pasand nahi ata Veer? Main kuch bhi khareedu, kuch bhi karu unke aankho mein meri choice ki koi value nahi hai. Un logo ne har bar mujhe mere cousins sisters and brothers se compare kiya hai ki agar wo log kar sakte hai toh main kyun nahi. Main padhai mein utni achi nahi hu .. toh main kya karu. Main jitna bhi try karke har bar peechle baar se thoda acha karti hu phir bhi unko satisfaction nahi hoti thi.. kabhi mujhe mere parents ne motivate nahi kiya. Han pata hai wo mujhse pyar jarte hai.  Magar yeh kaisa pyar hai jaha aap kabhi express hi nahi kiye .. mujhe kabhi wo maa baap wala pyar mahsos hi nahi hua. I don't know how does it feel for everyone. Does everyone feel like the way I felt living with my parents? Is it called Maa Baap ka pyar? Then mujhe nahi chahiye. Jaha yeh sochte sochte main pagal ho jau ki yeh log wakeyi mujhse pyar karte hai ya bas beti hai zimmedari hai isiliye bas nibhate hai. Veer main bohot buri hu na? Main apni hi parents ki burai kar rahi hu. 😭