Warning: sad , angst , cheating
Word count : 1k
I have writers block and I'm sad so this is all I can write rn
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You had a feeling this was going to be the day . The day Jake finally had the guts to say he didn't love you anymore. You knew he was falling out almost a month ago , but stayed quiet because you wanted to spend as much time with him as you wanted to till he was ready to let you go .
You still loved him . Heck you felt like you could never love anyone else . Jake definitely didn't feel the same tho . And it broke you to the point you couldn't function properly, literally.
You never really thought about why Jake would lose feelings after saying he would be with you forever. You just assumed he grew bored of you . And you didn't blame him . But your assumptions changed when you were doing the laundry today .
You dusted out one of Jake's light blue shirt , before tossing it into the machine. But your eyes caught some thing . A red mark on his collar .
At first you assumed it was blood and pulled the shirt out of the machine in worry . But soon you felt your heart drop . It was lipstick, clearly lipstick. And a shade you'd never wear . You felt sick .
You sniffed the fabric on the collar and immediately pulled away with a broken gasp . It didn't smell like Jake , it didn't smell like your perfume either .
"Jacob-" you barged into his home studio where he spent most his time , you were at the verge of bursting out , you clutched the shirt in your hand .
He was sitting on a stool back facing the door , the guitar abruptly stopping as he turned around you to see standing at the door .
His eyes fell to his shirt in your fist , he looked clueless and confused.
"You're- you-" you stammered. It was impossible for you to let out the words . You could even say it yourself.
Frustrated with yourself you showed him the part of his collar with the lipstick stains. His eyes immediately went petrified, his confusion changed to fear .
"Y|n- i-!" Jake said barely anything in panic setting his guitar down quickly and standing up . You couldn't even look at him .
I thought- I thought you simply felt out of love. But all this time you've been-" you could bring yourself to talk again . Your throat went extremely dry , you legs felt like they were switching places .
You didn't realise how the tears had been flowing down you face , down your neck , already wetting your collar .
How would you even think you could be good enough for anyone after this . How could you ever put your heart out again . You had nothing left . Jake was eveything.
"Y|n please-" Jake grabbed your shoulders to pull you into his chest , like he was trying to sway you to calm down . But you couldn't touch him , or even look at him . You pushed him away harshly, looking at the floor .
"Do you love her?" You ask , almost trembling. More than anything it made you feel sick that Jake was in love with someone else and you were the one restricting his happiness, because he did not have the heart to break up with you because he knew how much you loved him .
"I'm sorry y|n I'm so sorry but I don't know why! You give me everything- but with her i just-" Jake stopped mid sentence because it looked like you were going to either suffocate and die or throw up .
"You're beautiful and amazing and you-
I love you y|n I do" Jake spoke in frustration trying to explain himself.
"But just as a person ,not as someone I'd want to marry into my life-" he was cut off by you smacking him across his face .
His hand immediately went to the cheek you slapped , his face turned away . You were huffing in anger . You couldn't hear the shit he had to say . It hurt you too much to heard him say stuff like that .
You let out a gut wrenching sob , immediately regretting hitting him .
"I'm sorry I couldn't make you h-happy" you hiccuped from crying so hard .
You immediately walked out of there , grabbed your keys and heading out the front door .
No y|n! Wait" Jake yelled following after you , grabbing your wrist as you tried to fight him away .
"Please! Don't drive when you're upset please. Let's not end this like this please" Jake begged as he held your wrist tight to stop you from walking away .
"Jake you've been in love with someone else this entire time when I gave you everything and at one point you gave me everything too . I'm not upset I'm fucking torn ! And there's nothing you can say to make this better" you said , finally looking into his eyes . He had tears in his and you didn't understand what he had to cry about.
"You suck for not telling me from the start . Does she know about me ? She probably does . Everyone probably knew I was the dangling side piece that nobody loves!" You shouted , holding in your sobs .
"That's not true!" Jake shouted back , his voice wavered .
"Fuck you Jake! How could you do this to me ?! You knew I never thought anyone could love me because of my parents , until you came along as I was finally happy . But now you just proved it to me. You of all people- how could you do this ?!" You yell at him .
"How am I supposed to get over this!? How am I supposed to feel like I'm enough for anyone!? I feel like I could just die!" You scream , he let go of your wris and just stood there , staring at you as he let his tears fall watching you scream at him .
"Do you not feel guilty when you're with her? Or do you love her so much that you forget me when you're with her ? Do you not feel bad for betraying me ?" You asked .
"I hope she cheats on you and leaves you to die . And if she doesn't then you don't deserve to be with her" you said , not letting him speak as you walked out , slamming the door behind you .
