KanaMafu Poems [Project Sekai]

Poem #3 - [Emptiness and Sorrow]

From the day I met you
I started to truly fly
I really thought that I was going to die
to my lost self forever
There wasn't any guarantee about it,
but saying you would save me
Sparked something similar to hope
As I nearly "died" falling to that slippery slope called my life,
you caught me in time
But I hope this will be enough

Some days I feel fine, but I usually feel dead
Would reading a book help me instead?
No -- The only books I need are my textbooks
And I hate that so damn much
Would extra credit or harder assignments train my brain?
Yes -- but I don't care!!

I need music, that is my only solace for hope
Without music, I feel like nothing
At this point I still am nothing
All this time Mother had a deep emotional shovel,
digging my own future for me
That may soon become my grave
Had it not been for you, K..
..I wouldn't be alive anymore

Before we met, I felt like a lost sailor
Stranded on the ship of life, with a broken anchor
I had no anchor
My mother the cruel captain, I was on her deck
And I was about to fall into the sea
The Black Sea of despair
No lighthouses, no light was around for me to see
Nothing
At
All
Before I knew it, I was going to drown in the sea of pressure and numbness
Until I found an anchor -- You
You held on to me, keeping me from falling into the violent sea of darkness
That was my own life

Back then, I was fearful for the future
Now -- I can (somehow) anticipate one
Thank you, K
I do not know who I am,
but I know I'm a lyricist
I used to wish to disappear,
but now I no longer have that fear
As long as you keep looking after me
Nobody knows what the future can hold,
but I trust you completely

Through the fog of my life I lost myself,
but you alone are clearing that fog
Perhaps you could turn it into sunlight?
Who knows
With you, K -- I know it won't turn into smoke
Clouding my heart until it broke

Having everything
Having things I liked to do
Having dreams
Having a future I looked forward to
My mother took over, the ship destroyed
But I'm still holding on, K
Thanks to you
and the music you compose

If music had an invisible string attached to it,
Your string was linked to warmth and hope
and my string was linked to coldness and voids
Until our strings connected, and everything changed
You gave me some of your warmth
to light up the darkness in my life

Music allowed me to find you
And allowed you to find me
I still haven't found myself,
but I've found you
And I think I'm on the right path
To be complete again.