When is a boy not a boy?
When he's a plank of wood.
When is a boy a plank of wood?
When he goes rigid with fear.
When does a boy go rigid with fear?
When he's being carried across the river.
When is a boy carried across the river?
When he's the smallest in a party of boys being chased by bullocks.
When is a boy part of a party of boys being chased by bullocks?
When they're being taken for a walk to the nearest village by their history teacher.
When is a boy taken for a walk to the nearest village by his history teacher?
When he's staying in a thatched farmhouse to do creative writing in the middle of Devon.
When does a boy stay in a thatched farmhouse to do creative writing in the middle of Devon?
When he's capable of becoming a plank of wood.
