QSMP Short Stories

Music Used to Cure Everything PT. 1 | Chayanne Angst

       TW: Panic attack, mentions of not eating, loneliness, angst (obviously) 

      Chayanne was laying in his room floor, watching the ceiling fan spin 'round and 'round again and again. He'd lost count of many times he'd seen the small duck that Tommy had gotten stuck in the ceiling fan years ago, and nobody, not even Chayanne cared enough to remove it. It was the same Spotify playlist over and over again, he was sure that he'd listened to it 10 times or more non-stop in the past 48 hours. He hadn't gotten up from his room floor since he laid down 13 hours ago, despite his throat begging for hydration. 

      The blonde found himself mumbling the lyrics to Trainwreck by James Arthur yet again. He'd added that song 7 times in the same playlist, and all of this because he felt like his life was a trainwreck. Tommy and Techno had flown to the United States to visit an old friend, a name along the lines of 'Ranboo' or something, Chayanne didn't care enough to remember. Wilbur was on tour again, Phil was visiting family, and Missa had been in Japan for 2 years. They all knew that Chayanne was physically trained to fight, so even though he was 12, he'd be fine being home alone for 4 weeks. 

       But it'd only been 2, and he couldn't handle it anymore. The emptiness in his heart. He longed to see Technoblade grinding potatoes on Minecraft, Tommy streaming with Tubbo in his room, or to hear Wilbur practicing his guitar at 3AM. Now that he'd thought about it, Chayanne wasn't sure when he'd last slept or eaten. Phil was right, Chayanne was physically trained for this, but he could never be mentally prepared for being so lonely. Phil had offered for Chayanne to come with him, but the dragon hybrid declined. Phil was going to the beach, and Chayanne was deeply afraid of the beach, though he never knew why. Now he was regretting not tagging along.

     Every 3 days Phil's friend, Fit and his son Ramón, would come over and make sure that Chayanne was okay, that he had enough food and was feeling fine, but they too had gone on a 6 day vacation. The dragon hybrid had been lying in the floor since after their last visit. He was losing count of time, and wanted nothing more than to see his family again. He and Ramón would text every day, but recently he'd ignore most of them, only answering when Ramón asked if he were okay, to which the reply would always be: "I'm fine, don't worry." 

    Anyone could see that the preteen was lying, even if it were through simple texts. Everyone knew that Chayanne would only text in proper grammar if something were wrong. So Ramón had decided that the second he and Fit came back from their own little adventure, he would visit. He would run down the street and unlock the door as fast as possible, pound his first on Chayanne's wooden room door, and would not leave until he knew that the blonde was actually okay. 

      Still, as the days passed, Chayanne would lay on the floor, only getting up for a small snack, drink of water, shower, or a bathroom break, and on the way to whatever room he travelled to, those wireless orange headphones with ducks painted on the sides would come with him, blasting the same songs over and over again. Listening to music is healthy, yes, but listening to the same stuff over and over again can cause horrible mental issues. 

      "Small Town boy in a big arcade...." Chayanne trailed off, singing the lyrics to a completely different songs. The lack of sleep was getting to him. "Home is whenever I'm with you," the blonde sang. "I'm not home anymore," he muttered to himself, finally rising from lying down just to curl up against the wall, face hiding in his hands as tears fell from his eyes. "I can't do it, I can't do it, I can't do it anymore! I can't go 11 more days, Dad, I need you home...." His brothers would all be in America for another 2 months, but Phil promised that once he was back, he and Chayanne would have time just to themselves, where they could do whatever the preteen wanted. 

      Suddenly, from downstairs, the door swung open, Ramón rushing up the stairway straight away, not even bothering to close the door behind him. Fit was there too, so he shut the door carefully before making his way up the stairs as well. Chayanne, being lost in his world of music and sobs, hadn't heard neither the front door nor the footsteps, but only became aware of another presence when his door was swung open. Yes, it took him by surprise, but he didn't care anymore, left sobbing into his hands and wishing for his family to return. 

      "Aw, Chay," Ramón frowned, sitting next to the blonde and wrapping both arms around him. Fit stood in the doorway, witnessing the depressed feeling in the atmosphere of the room. The blinds and curtains were shut, it was pretty dark. Of course when Ramón and Fit walked into the room, Yellow, Chayanne's favorite song, began to play. It reminded him of when his father, Missa, would sit by his bed along with Wilbur, and they'd sing it together. It was his one memory of a happy family. 

      The sobs became louder, Ramón rubbing Chayanne's back in attempt to calm him down, but failing. The blonde was panicking, scared that he'd just proved so much to Fit- he couldn't be left alone, and he clearly wasn't as strong as they thought he was. He hadn't had a panic attack in 2 years, but here he was, short breaths and shaking. 

      "Dad, I think he's having a panic attack! What do we do?" Ramón shouted over the sobs. "I'm not experienced with this! I- I can call Phil." Fit rushed to click the crow's contact, nearly dropping his phone in the process. He had to vacate the room in order to talk to Phil when he finally did pick up. "Yes? Everything okay Fit?" Answered the crow, immediately becoming concerned with the faint crying over the phone. "Your son is having a panic attack or something! He had eye bags that could carry the groceries of an entire store, he's hella pale, and he clearly hasn't eaten in days! Phil, I knew leaving him alone was a bad idea!" Fit practically screamed into the phone. 

     "Oh my gosh, okay. Uh... Any idea what caused it?" The blonde man said, attempting to keep calm. "No! We came to check on him and he was bawling his eyes out! He could've been sitting here for days crying and nobody would've known!" 

      "Okay, the first thing you need to do is get him to look at you, hold one finger up, and take a deep breath, try to get him to mimic your breathing. In 5, out 10," the crow instructed. Fit ran back to the two boys, seeing that Chayanne had completely shut himself out from the outside world, curled up in a way that couldn't have been comfortable. "Chayanne!" Fit screamed, holding one finger up. Obviously the boy wasn't looking at him. "Ramón, remove the headphones!" 

      Off. Just like that, Chayanne's gaze snapped towards Fit, who sat right in front of him, attempting Phil's instructions, just for the blonde to shake his head. "I-I-I'm t-trying, I-I can't!" He cried, palms digging into his face again. "Chayanne?! Chayanne, can you hear me!?" Phil screamed. "He can't hear you Phil, he's too loud!" 

     "Dad, give me your phone! I have an idea!" Ramón shouted, unplugging the headphones from Chayanne's phone and pausing the playlist. He then plugged the headphones into Fit's phone, and out the headphones back on Chayanne's head. 

      "Chayanne? Can you hear me?" Instantly, the blonde haired boy's sobs quieted, turning into a silent cry, as Phil continued talking. "You're okay, I'm here. Everything is just fine," the crow father continued, Chayanne's cries becoming sniffles, yet still shaking violently. "Tell me what happened bud," Phil whispered softly. "M-music used to cure e-everything, but, it couldn't help my loneliness.... I-I tried Dad, I'm sorry! I'm just too weak for this! I-I need you," the hybrid said, cries becoming louder again. "No, no, Chayanne, listen to me. You're the strongest kid I've ever met, okay? You're not weak for being lonely, don't blame yourself. I should not have left you alone, I really shouldn't have. I'm coming home, okay kiddo? Everything is gonna be just fine." 

      "N-no, Dad, please! I don't want to r-ruin your trip," the blonde said, taking a deep breath afterwards. "Chayanne, you didn't ruin anything. I'm okay right now, you're not. I prioritize my children over a vacation like this. I'm coming home, I'll see you tomorrow. Stay safe kiddo, bye!" 

     "Bye...." Chayanne mumbled, but he couldn't help smiling afterwards. Ramón and Fit looked at each other with a smile, giving each other a thumbs up and looking back at Chayanne. 

       "Thank you, I-I was just really struggling,." 

"No problem kid. We all get lonely here and there." 

    That night, Chayanne went to sleep with a full stomach and a smile, happy to know that he'd see his dad the next day. Finally, he could rest.

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