daddy. // the 1975

forty six // dealer

3:46 am? what the fuck? the bright light from my screen burning my eyes from the darkness.

thud, thud, thud.

my heart is beating through my chest, my mind is half awake from suddenly awakening, i stumbled from my bed to the hallway.

thud, thud, thud.

what the fuck is going on right now? it's the latest part of the night, who the hell is at my apartment? i inch closer to the door, the knocking continues. no way in hell im opening that door. i cursed this apartment for not having a peep hole.

i panicked and rushed into the kitchen. i secured the knife again, but this time, i opted for peering through the small kitchen window to see who's outside.

three men in all black, some sort of beanies on. their faces aren't covered, i just can't see them from this angle. my fight or flight kicking in is saying to call the police, but i also don't need the media to know the cops are back at the healy residence. we already get so much hate from matty being an arsehole on his own regard.

and who's to say matty doesn't know these people..

i lowered myself off the countertop after seeing enough, accidentally slipping and knocking off a mug from the drying rack.

fuck. i froze still staring at the door.

the noise from outside subsided for a moment, only hearing muffling and occasional whispers. they could break it down any minute if they wanted to..

"we know you're fuckin' in there healy, you fuckin' knobhead," a man's voice growled. i couldn't say anything. they can't know i'm here alone.

i quickly, and quietly, rushed back into the room before hiding in the closet to call matty. it's past 4 am at this point.

"hey, love," matty says normally.

"hey, love? HEY LOVE? matty are you fucking kidding me? there's three men outside pounding on the door, asking for you, saying they know you're here, what the fuck matty?!" i whisper-yelled, more like freaked out, but managing to keep my tone down.

matty's attitude changed immediately, his tone getting serious, "willow, make sure the doors and windows are locked. stay inside, don't go outside for any reason at all until i'm back. and don't call the cops, whatever you do, just stay safe and be smart." i was beyond scared at this point, i began to fear for mine and the baby's safety.

"matty what the fuck?! i'm scared," i said, at this point, i was hyperventilating. how was i supposed to stay inside and feel safe alone?

"willow, i know, i know," matty sighed, frantically, "i'm packing my shit right now, jamie is getting a flight, i don't what more i can say, just please, please, don't go outside for any reason," matty said, "i love you, i'll be there in 6 hours, it'll be okay."

matty and his fucking uncontrollable life putting me in a bad position, yet again. i feel safe confined in this dark closet at the dead of night. but how could anyone feel truly safe given the circumstances? i'll never forgive him for this.

+

"mhmm," i muttered, "hello?" i groggily said, waking to matty's phone call. I woke up sitting upright in our bedroom closet, softly colliding against the uncomfortable hangers.

"the driver is pulling in, be ready at the door for me," matty said, he sounded nervous, but of course i can see why.

i stand eagerly at the door, waiting for him. the knife in my hand as i check over my shoulder a million times. i fell asleep for hours in that closet, someone could be inside right now. i pace around for a few more minutes, feeling more antsy each passing moment. it's still early, he'll be here any minute. i make my way through the rooms and living areas, all clear. it doesn't seem like anyone broke in.