Better than revenge

Jabby

"He's so sweet he messages me all the time." I say grinning as I drink some of my coke from my McDonald's cup as Spence nods.

"I don't know Marley he doesn't look like the love type.Spencer says as I raise my eyebrow.

"Oh yeah and what does he look like?" I question as he looks at me.

"Honestly you aren't going to like this but he looks like a fuck boy who will use and abuse you!" He says as I gasp.

"How could you even say something like that you don't know him." I snap.

Granted I've been called naive my whole life but it's not that I'm naive I try not to manifest the worse yet somehow no matter how promising the relationship looks it always ends the same way.

Que the imaginary tape recorder.

"You deserve someone that would love you."

"You're attractive just not relationship material the tattoos throw people off."

"You give porn star vibes, are you a dirty girl."

"Don't worry I get attached to people fast in-fact you're my dream girl."

The last one hurt me the most because for some unknown reason I always believe them.

"Well we shall see I'm meeting him tonight." I say clapping my hands together like an excited baby seal.

Eight pm comes along fast and I start to get ready doing the full checks.

I get in the shower shaving ever piece of skin I have because men say they don't like a naturally hairy girl and I wasn't blessed with being bald under the armpits and the lady parts.

Men don't want women men want holes.

Except I didn't think that at the time. Stupid me.

"Shaved check washed hair check cleaned teeth double check now makeup." I say to myself.

Men don't like women who aren't natural but never like how short my lashes are or how pale my face is so I have to apply a whole face of makeup but make it a natural look because that's what men want.

"Okay outfit time." I say as I pull out half my wardrobe.

"No, no god no, what am I doing eww no." I say to myself flinging my clothes all over the floor.

"Okay so not a tight dress because he will think I'm slutty but not jeans because what if they give me a camel toe oh and not a football shirt because what if he thinks I actually care about football same with rock bands." I mutter to myself.

I decide on a denim black knee length skirt and a red cropped long sleeve shirt, I read in vogue that red is pleasing to the male eye and screams sex appeal.

I spray myself with perfume not to much because I don't want him thinking I'm a cheap tart.

"Come on Marley, he's the one I can feel it." I say looking at myself in the mirror as I feel the pit sink deeper into my stomach.

He arrives ten minutes late I know this because I'm stood behind my trailer door paces up and down when I see him wearing a casually oversized brown sweatshirt and black joggers.

"Oh god I'm over dressed." I mumble pulling my top over my head and throwing it in the corner where it's out of eyeline I shove on my striped blue and white jumper and pull my hair to the side when he knocks.

I wait a moment.

"First day to the rest of my life." I mumble to myself as I open the front door he smiles big which is a good sign I think.

"Hey." I say as he pulls me in for a warm hug it lasts two seconds but it's been awhile since I've been hugged and it felt perfect, I'm guessing you can see where I'm going wrong I'm acting like little things are mountains.

But they are just that. Little.

I thought we'd go out somewhere on a date but we didn't we just laid in bed and watched modern family he gets points for the fact he let me pick what we watched.

But that quickly went away when he started kissing me it's strange when a guy kisses me I get this ball in my stomach and I used to think it was a good thing but now I think it's kind of an intuition thing like I know when somethings not going to end well.

Let's just say we had sex to put it lightly.

Sex implying I felt good, nope he was super jabby he was a lot bigger in size then mark so I expected him to be gentle nope, that didn't happen.

Jab after jab after jab I thought it was never ending and he came on my stomach it was gross never again.

I wasn't too disappointed when he ghosted me when that's the thing he ghosted me then added me then ghosted me again I got whiplash from it.