But what if ☆byler☆

Chapter:2

TW: self-harm (like, during the process. Please don't read this if you are on the edge. I want you to be safe <333)

I shut my door, and walked to a canvas I have hung up on my wall. I sighed, wiping away my tears. I knew what I was about to do, and I was already feeling guilty about it. I take the painting down, and grab the blade out of the back of it.

I carry the blade back to my bed, and roll up the sleeves of my yellow flannel. I see my arm, scars faded. I haven't done this since I started taking my medicines. My medicine can't save me from this.

I take the blade, and stare at it. I have this weird feeling in my stomach. Then I move the blade down to my arm. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Cut after cut, trailing down my arm. I see the blood dripping. I smile. I slice my arm some more. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. How many can I fit? Apparently only 22 on each arm. I have blood dripping down my arms, and am about to move to my legs, then I hear a knock at my door.

"Um, o-one second" I say, trying to hide my very obvious tears. "Are you okay? Are you crying?" I hear a very familiar voice saying. Mike. "Uh- yeah one second" I say, now very obviously sobbing, losing my ability to stand up due to my dizziness and blood loss. "Okay, no I'm not I'm coming In there." Mike says, sternly, but calmly. His 'will voice' as the party calls it. "No! Please!!" I scream, not even trying to hide my sobbing anymore. I'm trying to clean up the blood as fast as I can, but it's not working.

"Will it's okay, I'm not going to judge you no matter what, but I have to come in, okay?" He says. I'm quiet for a few seconds "will??" He says, fear lacing his tone. "O-okay" I say, still through tears. I hear his sigh of relief through the door. I see the door push open. I make eye contact with him. I know for sure I look like a mess, which makes this even worst.

He just stands there for a second, watching me sob, unable to speak or move, until he quickly runs out of the room. I knew it. He didn't care about me. I could just die hear. Right as I give up hope, about to reach for the blade again, he comes running into my room. First-aid kit in hand

"Hey, will. Please stay with me. Please. I need you." He says, through tears, as I fall in and out of sleep. He is trying to quickly stop the bleeding. He's wrapping it with everything he can. "Will! Please, please, please! Stay awake" he says sobbing, trying to help me. "Come on! Say something! I don't know what to do! Please! Can you say something?" I hear him clearly, but I am having trouble talking. I'm  just sobbing. Why am I crying this much??  I think to myself.

"I-i...Mike" I say, I don't know what I was trying to get across.

Authors note: sorry for this shit already, having a tough time, and writing it with charachters help.