But what if ☆byler☆

Chapter: 20 :((((((

Chapter 20
TW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DOESNT GO INTO ANY DETAILS! IM SORRY!!
Mike's pov:

♤next morning♤

I wake up with will still in my arms. So it wasn't a dream....

Then I remember what happened the night before. Shit. I wonder what he freaked out about. I know I fucked up. I should've just listened. I should've picked up on the fact he didn't like me like that.

I look down at him, asleep limply in my arms, his hair all messed up. He's to good for me. I should've known he'd never like me back.

I see him blink his eyes open, and I immediately shut mine. I want to stay like this a bit  longer before he hates me forever.

I expect him to immediately get up, although I don't want him to, but instead, he lets go of my shirt, and slowly puts his arms around my waist, pulling closer (guys I'm getting gay panic from reading this)

I slowly open my eyes, and see him already looking up at me. Well, this caught me entirely to off guard, so I immediately kick my knees up, hitting will directly in his crotch-area, making him yelp and fall off of the bed. (This is way to funny to me idec if it's not funny)

"Shit will I'm so sorry-" I say, immediately standing to help him up. "N-no its fine. No biggie" He whinces, standing up. "Just caught me a bit off guard." He pauses. "You okay?" He asks me.

"Yeah, no I'm good. Great. Nothings wrong."
I stutter. "Are you sure? You seem a little-"
"Will I'm fine!" I push, a bit to harshly. "I'm sorry, but I'm fine. Sorry." I say, calmly.

"Oh I'm sorry" He says. "I was prying" He explains. "No! Will don't be sorry! It's okay" i say, sitting back down on the bed.

"Well, I'm also sorry" He pauses "about last night" he finished. Shit. He brought it up. "No! No don't be sorry! You didn't do anything wrong! I just... went to far. I should've known you didn't like me like that and stopped so-" I get interrupted "What? No! That's not it at all! Like, at all." He explains.

"Oh." I said. "Are you sure? Because if not I don't want to pressure you or any-" "mike!" He says, cutting me off,with a soft kiss on the lips.

"Does that give you your answer?" He asks. "Uh- y-yeah" I say, probably blushing like a madman. "Good" He responds, smiling.

"D-do you want to tell me what happened? I mean, of course you don't have to or anything, it's just only like, 3am, so we have a few hours before they come to wake us up, and I want to be able to help you, with whatever it is" I say, losing my breathe.

"Um" He starts, "I don't really want to uhm... talk, or even think about it honestly. But basically I was uhm" his voice cracked, and I saw tears forming in his eyes. "I was raped." He says, tears falling down his face.

"Oh will-" I say, standing up. He takes a step back. He's scared....of me. "I'm sorry" I say, backing up, trying not to cry. I need to be here for him. This isn't about me. "Do you want to talk more about it? You don't have to of course, only if it helps" I say, looking into his reddening eyes.

"I don't-" He inhales, shakily "I don't really want to talk about it, im sorry " he says, crying. He's standing up, a fair distance away from me, with his arms crossed covering his stomach. He really is scared of me.

"That's okay hon- will. Don't say sorry. I hate that that happened to you, and I really wish I could help, and I'll do everything I can, okay? I promise." I say, holding back the lump In my throat.

"Thank you Mike. Thank you so much." He said, backing away, and crossing his arms tighter. I'm trying so hard not to cry.

"Do you want me to uhm- go away, or to the other side of the room or something? I will if you want me to." I say, my voice shaking like a motherfucker.

He slowly uncovers his eyes, then looks me in the eyes. I immediately see a switch in his facial expressions. It's small, but I noticed it. His face softened. He looked a lot less scared. I was about to question it, when he runs towards me, and gives me the tightest hug ever.

I freeze for a second, then hug him back. I put my arm on his back, and he crys into my shoulder. I feel so so bad for him. I rest my chin on his head, and rub circles into his back.

I'm trying my best to calm him down, and stay calm myself,  knowing I can't make this about me, even if I need to let it out. I'll tell someone else. It'll be okay. I'll be fine.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay" I whisper lowly, trying to soothe the still crying boy in my arms.

He slowly lets go of me, and wipes his face with his sleeve. "Thank you,Mike" He says. "I love you" I here him whisper.

Panic. Sheer. Panic. I can't do this. I don't know how. I've never told anyone I love them. Ever. Not even my parents. I don't know what to do. I know I love him too. I don't know how to say it. I can't.

"I-i uhm-" I stutter aimlessly. "You don't have to say it back" He says, looking at his feet.

"No i- I'm sorry." I say, tears now streaming down my face. "I just...can't. It's not that I don't love you I just... can't say it. I'm so sorry" I say, my voice squeaky and tired.

"No" He says, his voice breaking. "It's okay. I get it. It was stupid anyway" He said, giving a sad, forced smile.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, going to my side of the room, and sitting on the floor behind my bed until Jamie came to get us up.

A/n: I know this is really bad, but I have no one to vent to, so I'm doing this. Yay. (Tottally not sobbing rn or anything)