Change.//Jan Stevens x oc

[XI]

The last dinner.

Jan is the one delivering the speech, as the head of this institute. I'm excited to hear what she has to say.

I was sitting across the table from her. She smiled and nodded at me before standing up.

- Good evening, everyone. This is the last day of our project. The last dinner. This month was full of different adventures, but we made progress for the institute. It was lovely working with such interesting and talented people like you. I am deeply proud of your work, and wish you all the best in the future. - she announced.

No one said anything, everyone just applaused. Unusual, since something always happens at dinner.

Jan sat back down to her chair and showed us to enjoy ourselves for the last time here.

But I can't eat. Something feels off place. Something is bothering me, I just don't understand what it is.

I want to leave this and go somewhere else. But it'd be rude to leave. Whatever.

- Excuse me for a minute. - I stood up from the table and left the dinner hall.

I don't know where I should even go. The restroom? My room? Outside?

Maybe outside. It's a bit chilly, but maybe that's what I need to calm my mind.

I left the building through the back door, into the garden. I sat down on the cement. It was already getting dark. I could spot a star or two.

Eventually I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. The soft wind was blowing right into my face. Perfect.

Perfect, when I'm trying to forget about all the chaos in me. There's so many paths I could take, since I'm still young. I can try out many other things, travel, have fun, find friends...

But I'm in some weird institute. And something is stopping me to leave.

It's Jan.

More like my feelings. Only if I never caught feelings for her. Only if I left the same day I got here. Only if I never came here at all.

Maybe I can still leave. Going further will only get me stuck in this place...

I hate being an adult. Deep inside, I'm still a little ignorant child. I'm terrible at decisions. I could never save myself in a life or death situation. I just simply never know what to do.

And I'm in such situation now. Well, not exactly "life or death". More like "freedom or attachment". I'm not attached yet, but I will be if I stay.

I have to leave.

*****************

- Abigail, what are you doing here? - Jan asked concerned, as she rushed towards me.

- Nothing, just spending some time by myself.

- By sitting on cement in this weather? You'll freeze your ass off. - she chuckled. - Stand up. Also, there's a bench right next to you.

I listened to her and moved places to sit down on the bench. She did that too and took me into her arms.

- What's bothering you, darling?

- There's a chaos in my head. Can I be completely honest with you?

- You should be honest. - she remarked.

- Fine. I'm thinking of leaving this institute.

- Understandable. I also had a thought that you're too young to spend your time in a shithole like this. The right thing for you to do would just leave this institute, I agree.

- But what about you, Jan? Why did you not leave earlier? You are spending your life in this shithole.

- I was afraid. Something kept me back. But you know what? I'm not letting it keep me back anymore. I'm leaving it too. Thanks to you, I've become more brave about this.

- Really? - I looked up to her.

- Yes. My final decision. And I'm not even leaving a note, I'll just disappear from this place. I wanna live a life.

- Jan, I have an idea.

- Tell me.

- Let's leave this country and run off to... Paris? Berlin? Together.

- And my answer to it is yes. - she smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead.