strangers | newtmas

five

"Come on in," I replied, my voice consisting of a mix of nerves and excitement. Opening the door to my own house for him felt surreal but odd, something I never could have anticipated when we first met.

After exchanging a brief greeting with my parents, Thomas turned to me and asked, "So, your room?"

I hesitated, feeling a pang of vulnerability at the thought of showing him such a personal space. Despite my apprehension, I lead the way. "Right this way," I said, motioning towards the stairs.

As we walked up the stairs, a realization struck me—we hadn't really engaged in conversation. Desperate to break the silence, I resorted to discussing the reason Thomas had come over, even if it seemed boring. "So, um," I began, my words stumbling slightly, "we can review what we learned in our last class if you want. I mean, I'm not sure how much you understood, but I think I kind of get it, so if you need help with it I can help." 

"Okay, good because I really don't get it," Thomas replies with a light chuckle. I smile, happy that he took me up on my offer to help. Although this is the reason Thomas is here, part of me hopes this isn't all we do. I hope we can spend some time together to get to know each other better. Even though I feel like I know Thomas pretty well, I just feel like there is something about him that I'm missing, like there's something deeper to understand about this boy that I haven't quite yet figured out.

I will figure it out.

~~~

After studying and working on physics with Thomas for about an hour, a loud noise breaks the silence, causing me to whip my head around. I find Thomas shutting his textbook with an audible sigh.

"You good?" I ask, a hint of amusement in my voice, but also I found part of me genuinely concerned about his well-being.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he chuckles. "I just can't take any more of learning about the conservation of energy. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but this is possibly the most boring subject ever," Thomas's remark offers a glimpse into his personality. While I understand the subject matter, I can't help but acknowledge his point. Physics can be incredibly dull unless you're a genius or aspiring to be an astronomer or scientist.

"but at least it's more fun to learn with you," Thomas says, finishing his sentence.

His words send a surge of excitement through me, causing my heart rate to quicken. Caught off guard, I find myself blushing in response. I glance up at Thomas and discover him looking directly at me. Our eyes meet, and I notice him quickly turning away, attempting to conceal the fact that he was gazing at me.

Am I making him nervous? Why would I make him nervous?

I suddenly realize that we've been sitting in silence for what feels like an eternity, though it's only been a minute or so. Just as I'm about to break the silence, Thomas unexpectedly moves closer to me. My heart races even faster, and I swear he can hear its frantic beating. I start to turn to look at him, and as if he senses my intention, he beats me to it and turns to look at me. We find ourselves sitting on my bed, mere inches apart, locked in a gaze. I can't help but let out a small laugh, acknowledging the slight awkwardness of the situation, which causes Thomas to smile.

It's hard not to be captivated by the beauty of his smile. Breaking eye contact for a moment, I glance around my room, searching for a topic of conversation to dispel the uncomfortable silence. I look back at Thomas, who continues to meet my gaze, not trying to hide it this time.

"You know," he starts, his voice filled with sincerity, "I think we're going to be really good friends."

"You think?" I respond, a hint of confusion in my voice, though not displeased by his words.

"Yeah, I genuinely like you, and you're different from everyone else," he states.

"Different? Isn't it usually considered a bad thing not to be like everyone else?" I ask, a tinge of uncertainty coloring my words.

"I mean that you're authentic. Most people put on a facade for others they know. It's rare to find someone who embraces their true self, without hiding behind something else. I can just sense that" he gestures towards me, "this is the real you, you know? You're not pretending to be someone you're not."

"That was kind of deep, but thank you," I respond, feeling a sense of vulnerability as I open up further. Our unwavering eye contact both unnerves and excites me, but I gather the courage to maintain it. "Not having many friends has taught me to promise myself that if I ever met someone, they would have to accept the real me, no hiding."

"That's smart, Newt," Thomas says, his voice filled with sincerity. His use of my name sends a wave of warmth and a tinge of shyness through me. He continues, placing his hand gently on my leg, "Just know... I like you for who you are. Just know that."

As his words hang in the air, the weight of their meaning settles upon me. It's as if the world around us fades, leaving only our connection in this moment.