Sleeping With The Enemy - Simon's POV (TWD Simon fanfic)

The Cell/The Proposal

A few days passed. Y/N was in a cell, I had been told she was refusing to eat. But I was too busy looking after Cameron and trying to hold it together to worry about her petty protests. 

Negan had called for me. I knew it would be to speak about Y/N and I was not in the right frame of mind at all. But I also wasn't stupid enough to say no.

I knocked on his door.

"Come in" Negan yelled.

"You wanted me...." I started to say as I closed the door, until I noticed Y/N and then I was angry "What the fuck is she doing here?" I asked

"Simon..." she started and I held my hand up to stop her. She looked like she might cry. I didn't care.

"She's explaining why she betrayed us" Negan replied and filled me in on what she had just said.

He told me she had said  if she gave him up that was like signing his death sentence and we should know she couldn't do that. I knew her and I knew she would hate to be responsible for someone's death. But I wasn't sure that was a good enough excuse for lying and deceiving someone you're supposed to love.

I perched on the back of the sofa Negan was sitting on as I thought about what she had said, my back to her. 

"that doesn't make her lying okay" I sighed, still facing away.

"No and she has been in a cell for days as punishment Simon" replied Negan. Why was he defending her? Did he have real feelings for her too? That made me jealous and angry in a whole other way. But this wasn't the right time to address that.

"Oh so now I'm just supposed to pretend nothing happened because she's served her punishment?" I scoffed, Negan sighed and scratched his beard, clearly frustrated and finding it hard being stuck between us.

"Maybe I should let you two talk" he suggested. I didn't react. Negan huffed and stood up walking to the door, then I heard the click as he locked it behind him. I he ran to the door. Rattling it in an attempt to open the door I already knew was locked. That bastard.

"Negan this isn't fucking funny" I yelled and heard Negan chuckle.

"You aren't coming the hell out until you sort your damn shit out!" he yelled back. I banged my fists against the door and rested my head against it, still refusing to look at Y/N.

She was wearing a bath robe. Which even in this moment, brought up new questions. Why was she in a robe in Negan's office? Had something happened? Had he seen her naked? Why was I angrier at the thought of that than anything else?

I took a seat on the sofa opposite her with my elbows on my knees and head in my hands, staring at the floor.

"Simon?" she whispered and I lifted my head to look at her, she looked terrible, although I was sure I didn't look much better. I hated the way my heart ached for her as our eyes met. I was mad at her, she hurt me. So why did I want to rush across and hold her.  "I don't know what else to say" she sighed and I ran a hand down my face,

"There's nothing else you can say" I sighed "you lied to me, and no excuses are ever going to make it right" she was about to interrupt but I stopped her and continued "I understand why you did it, I get you didn't want to be responsible for his punishment but that doesn't change the fact you lied to me and promised you hadn't" I wasn't angry anymore, I was hurt.

"I want to make this right" she replied, voice breaking "I didn't want to lie Simon I didn't"

"But you did!" I interrupted "and I don't know if I can get past that" 

We sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke,

"I don't want to lose you" she whispered

"Little darling this between us had been nothing but toxic" I sighed "all we have done is argue and let people get between us" I'd thought about this a lot these last few days. There hadn't been any long periods where we hadn't argued or someone hadn't tried to get between us.