Between the Lines

Comfort and Joy

Loki stood in the dark and looked down at her as she slept.  He had teleported into her room once he was sure all was quiet and blocked out the camera with his magic.  No one would disturb them, no one would harm her. 

He had hoped the mere fact that he had made contact with her, re-connected to her, would have settled her a little.  Sadly he was wrong.  Whatever they had done to her, it still lingered and that made him angry and sad in almost equal measure.  Anger won.  He wanted to kill them all.  Now.  But that would solve nothing.  Make him feel momentarily better, but solve nothing.

He became aware that she was wrestling with her sheets, unable to get away from some unseen foe. Murmuring and fretting, a sheen of sweat on her face, she moaned quietly but heart wrenchingly fearful. Her face reflected the haunting images in her mind. Once, he would have loved to know what went on in her dreams. What made her smile and bite her lip? Would she have moaned with pleasure? 

Now he was scared, seeing whatever it was made her whimper and cry. Eyes closed, tears ran down her cheeks. What in Helheim had they done to her? There was only one way to truly find out. Gently, he slid onto the bed beside her, and she stirred slightly.

"Shhhh Little One, it's only me." He stroked her hair, and she settled, automatically snuggling in to him, her head on his lap. He waited for a moment to see if she woke. She didn't, so he laid a cool and gentle hand on her forehead. Suddenly, he could see what she saw, feel what she felt.

He watched in horror as she was beaten, tortured, abused, and degraded. His mind was filled with the pain and suffering. The despair and the feeling of being abandoned. Then as the memories progressed, and he appeared, he felt something else. Something that made him sit up and wrench his hand off her in shock.

His eyes filled with tears, spilling down his cheeks. How could he have done this to her. How could he have let her endure such pain, such terror, such despair? What escaped his understanding even more was the realisation that despite all that, she felt the way she did. The way no one, let alone any woman other than his mother, had ever felt about him.

As he cradled her, he cried silently.  His tears burned his now dark blue skin with guilt. Despite his best efforts, a small sob escaped his lips. The noise, strangely, seemed to seep into her subconscious and woke her.

"Loki?" She mumbled sleepily. "You're here - what's the matter?" She sat up, releasing herself from his grasp.

"Told you I would, my darling." He said, hastily wiping his eyes. "I will never abandon you again." He whispered, and she stared at him, eyes wide in the dark.

"Abandon? You didn't...you're Jotun!"  the realisation in her voice self-evident.  It warmed his troubled soul.

"I did. And I know you felt it. I will regret that always. " he reached out and stroked her cheek. "They did terrible things to you. Things I had no idea they would do. I am so very sorry, Kathy. I will never stop being sorry." His tears began to fall again, and despite her own pain, both mental and physical, it was she who comforted him.

"You don't need to be sorry, Loki. You didn't know. " she squeezed his hand. "You're here now. That's what counts.  Have you disabled the camera? They will see you, even you couldn't really explain this. " she smiled, and his heart jolted. That smile.

"I suppose not, but fear not, I have used my powers to let them see what I want them to see." he smiled.  Although in the dark she couldn't fully see it, she could feel it in his voice - in her soul.  It really was back. The connection.  

"Loki?" 

"Yes?"

"How - how did you control your Aesir? Before - when you came in, when we touched, nothing happened.  I thought...."

"I know, and for that I am truly sorry.  I know now why you touched me. I controlled it because I realised I had to. I had no idea I really could, but I had to try. Your life depended on it and that gave me the power I needed.  When we are alone, there is no need. There will never be any need."

"No, there won't" she smiled and he too could hear the smile. "you look... beautiful."

There was a silent pause, then he spoke, "I owe you an explanation... I never meant..."

"Loki?" she interrupted him before he could say any more.

"Yes?"

"It doesn't matter. Any of this.  I survived, your here, we will defeat them.  That's all I need to know. That and how I can help you.  How do we stop them?"

Loki sat for a moment, overwhelmed by her trust and faith that they could do this.  Together.  After everything he put her through.  The memory of the feeling he'd got from her as he looked into her head came surging back and he knew now why it had frightened him so.  He felt the same way.

"Well, we need to flush them all out.  All the ones that make a difference that is. The foot soldiers? They'll fall into line once we have the leaders. Hydra is nothing if not a dictatorship.  Whatever the leaders tell them, the drones follow." he paused. "But there is something else, something more.  We think there is something - or someone - more powerful than all the cannon fodder.  There are rumours, ones we cannot ignore." he paused.  Should he tell her more?  Make her vulnerable?  No, he couldn't in all conscience make her even more of a target. At least for the moment, they thought she knew nothing. He was taking a chance even telling her what he had.

"I cannot tell you more, for if I do, and they manage to extract it from you..." 

She interrupted "Loki! I would NEVER tell! I would die first, surely you must see that by now?" her indignation shone through the dark like a fiery beacon and he laughed softly.

"There's my little terrier back!" he stroked her cheek softly, "I know you would never willingly betray me - us - but they have ways that even your determined mind could resist.  No, I cannot let you be in that much danger.  Suffice to say, when you see what I'm referring to, you'll know.  And you, my feisty little warrior, will know exactly how to overcome it." 

He moved down the bed a little and wrapped his arms around her more tightly. "Now, Kathy, my little one, time to sleep.  We have much to do.  When you waken, I shall be gone but only because I have to.  Not, I hasten to assure you because I want to.  I so very much want to stay, to hold you and to..." he was interrupted as she suddenly pressed her lips to his. His eyes widened for a second, then closed in bliss.

They kissed tenderly, no lust just passion.  There would be time enough for that when all this was done.  She broke the kiss with a smile 

"You talk too much Laufeyson." she giggled softly.

"And you, my darling, don't kiss nearly enough. " he pulled her back and kissed her deeply.  As he did so, he recited a spell in his mind and she drifted off into a calm and restful sleep.  No more nightmares, no more fear.  As he held her in the dark, listening to her breathe softly he knew that this, right here in her arms, was the place he'd longed for all his life.  He would do ANYTHING to keep it that way.

He would have to.