In the spotlight

36

Sofia Christensen

Deep breath. Exhale. Come on, Sofia. You are a 24-year-old grown woman; surely you can manage this as well... right? I closed my eyes for a brief second as I walked without a stop, then inhaled and exhaled again. I collected every last piece of bravery I might have had the moment, then I...

Then I lifted the metal straw to my mouth and finally took a sip. The utterly deep green and very thick liquid was waving in the glass with each step I took, almost in a mocking manner. As the bitter and very sour liquid touched my lips, then later my tongue, I couldn't help but almost gag.

God damnit, I hated this stupid green juice so much. Don't get me mistaken, I loved juices. Well, every other than this, to be more specific. I am usually making my version of green juice at home, with a little more... well, taste. We were permitted to drink this stuff 24 hours before the runway, as it helped with bloating and cleared our skin, but the chefs in the canteen made sure to kill off every last bit of the juice that could've been enjoyed, numbing our sense of taste with all the lemon in the world.

And even with that, they couldn't numb me enough to not recognize my arch nemesis. The green devil itself, the only vegetable—well, the only food actually—I would always refuse on the spot. Spinach.

Even from the thought of the ominous green leaves, I could not help but shudder. Could it be any kind of food, from pastas to salads to even juices, I would never fail to recognize and respectfully point out the presence of spinach in my food since my very early childhood for no apparent reason. The only special occasion when I somehow managed to endure the horrors of having to drink it was right before runway shows.

I turned the corner as I lowered the glass back down to me, collecting myself again before taking another sip. I squeezed my gray MacBook a little tighter against my side with my other hand as I lifted my hand up and tried to turn the doorknob without spilling the precious green liquid all over the place, even though I have thought about it several times up until this moment.

I heard the knob clicking under my hand, and I pushed the door open, trying to inch inside while balancing everything in my hands. Luckily the blue bandana I was wearing prevented my hair from falling all over my face, so at least clear vision made it easier not to trip over anything. Well, as clear as my vision can get, I guess.

Faint sounds of a few words being said have filtered through the door but died out as soon as I opened it and revealed myself under the door frame. The meeting was scheduled to start 10 minutes from now on, so I imagined that quite a few people would already be in the room. Well, I couldn't be more wrong.

I have joined only five people in the room, sitting around the huge round table waiting for our lead director to arrive. I ran my eyes along all 5 of them, successfully ignoring Haydar's icy blue eyes, who obviously just happened to return to this career as an opener for Gucci.

Some faces were familiar, some faces not at all, but the last one in particular is the one who knocked the wind out of my lungs whenever he traced his ridiculously beautiful iris on me. As he was doing right now.

I snapped my head away and just took the seat closest to the door. I was paying very close attention not to under any circumstances look back at him as I was placing my laptop, phone, and half full glass on the table.

I didn't quite know what terms we were on at the time. I really wanted to hate him still, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was hating myself instead. Because this week made me realize that he caused irreversible damage in terms of my feelings towards him.

I enjoyed when he couldn't take his eyes off of me. I enjoyed the brief glances as well, even those he didn't even know I noticed. I heard that he made an attempt at apologizing through his sister, which I declined merely out of spite, but his desparation just softened my heart even more.