Promised To The Clouds

Promise III

I closed the door behind me as lightly as I could. The clock on the far wall reads 2.23 a.m. and the entire apartment is in comfortable silence. Looking down at my bare feet, I shuddered from the cold air and hugged myself while rubbing my arms. Yunxi likes to sleep in total darkness, and I had to stumble out of the room quietly without looking for my slippers so that I wouldn't wake him.

Instead of going to the guest bedroom where I have been residing, I walked in the opposite direction and went towards the living room instead. I switched on dim lights, just enough for me to move around, and dragged myself to the balcony. Unfolding the fleece blanket from the side, I parted the curtains and stared at the city lights. That time I'd just moved in with him; the view was exactly the same.

Luo Yunxi, I don't know what's real or not anymore.

I was born and raised in this city, and yet it does not feel that familiar. My parents are no longer here, but the pain lingers. If it wasn't for Grandpa, I wouldn't have come back.

I still have Grandpa, and he sincerely loves me.

Grandpa was so happy when I married Yunxi that I didn't have the heart to tell him that our marriage had only been in name. Whenever he occasionally called, I would always sound like a cheerful Mrs. Luo. I didn't have the heart to break his wish for my happiness.

"Xiao Nuo, it's cold out here."

I held my breath in as I heard him walk towards me and drop something on the floor beside my feet: the slippers that I left in the room. Without looking at him, I slipped into them, silently appreciating the warmth. The silence engulfing us made me wonder if he wasn't standing there within reach.

Yunxi turned me towards him and pulled the fleece around me tighter. His eyes showed a measure of concern, and yet I still doubt him. His every action feels too unreal to me now.

"What are you thinking of this late at night? Let's go back to bed, wife."

Wife?

He'd occasionally use this term, and I would usually like it, but right now it makes me irked. Though it is true that I fell into his intimate traps earlier, now I feel more clear headed.

"I want to go visit Grandpa." I whispered and looked away from him. "I'll call him in the morning and go visit wherever he is for a few days or so."

Yunxi's arms wrapped around my shoulders, giving me a side hug. "Don't leave."

I really didn't expect this reaction from him. But then again---

"From the time we got married, you've never left my side. Even when I got home late, you were always there. You probably didn't know this, but when we shoot at faraway places, they would offer me an overnight stay, but I would always refuse. I want to come home to my wife."

That is true. There wasn't even one single night since we got married when he didn't come home. There are days he returns at midnight, and sometimes just minutes before dawn. I am a pretty light sleeper, so I would wake but pretend to still be asleep when he slid into bed.

"If you're leaving because of our conflict, then there's more reason for me to not let you go." I could feel his chin on top of my head as he talked. His every word blew into my hair like a gentle wind. "What if you're just using this excuse to leave me forever? No, I'm not letting you go."

He's half right. If given the chance, I wouldn't return here. Ever.

I placed a hand on his' that was hugging me, realising that he was slightly shaking as he gulped.

"But I miss Grandpa."

Sighing, Yunxi turned me towards him and took my face into his two large palms. "Then I'll go with you. I don't want you out of my sight."