DARLING, YOU'RE HIGH AGAIN.

CH 20: Million Worthy Angel

Felix could already taste his own blood as he bit his lips in despair not to let out a sound, he saw scarlet and black, pixels on the edge of his vision while clear tears rest on his water line. The guilt is building inside him as Mrs. Carmen's body started to disappear from his sight, little by little until Felix's pupils couldn't see her figure anymore. Everything about him is broken, he could feel it.

"Why..."

Felix always thought of Mrs. Carmen as a rude old lady who love scolding her employees every early morning, she liked sneaking bible verses while she talked bad about you, and every single time you talk back defending yourself she would identify your words as a form blasphemy and take it as an offence. She will keep on threatening to fire you on your work or call your smell disgusting, she would frequently meddle about your smoking habits, but that's all that she does. She had a bad mouth but Mrs. Carmen didn't actually fire the man on his job, she'll reduce your paycheck and will make you work all day but that is not enough.

That will never be enough of a reason for her to die, she can be kind, she helped Felix hide on her car and she even went as far as to argue and fight the guard . She didn't deserve to die.

"Why..." Felix whispered beneath his hitching breathe, tear seeping soundless in his blood stained cheeks.

"Was it because of me the she died? Am i at fault to all of this? If i didn't bother her, she wouldn't have to die. It was all because of me, i'm the reason, i'm the reason why she's dead. It's all my fault, it's all my fucking fault." Mumbled Felix, his deep voice ringing in the quiet like dead road clearly tainted with grief, he creates a stream of tears.

"I really can't believe you Felix! You just came to the store late and high again for the fourth time this week! And now you beat up a customer?! When will you actually learn?! I can't even reduce any amount in your paycheck anymore since there's nothing to reduce! I won't be even suprise if someone die because of your carelessness! Because you're irresponsible and inconsiderate! You're unambitious! You're dull and you have no passion to whatever thing that you do!"

Felix remember well, those were just one of Mrs. Carmen's words towards Felix every time he upsets the lady.

And, she wasn't wrong at all.

Sometimes, Felix just wonder that the world perhaps despised him too fucking much that they gave him such good memory, an asshole of a father and a shitty life and future.

"It wasn't your fault Felix, it was mine. So now please shut the fuck up until we arrive at the gambling house, the old horny men are upset since you keep them waiting." Fargo hissed in his face, putting him down to the back seat of the same car he rode earlier. Felix let his body relax in his seat.

Streaks of dried tears on his paper like pale face, red dried out blood on his white dress and hands, smelling like murder. Felix's tears couldn't dry properly when new ones started to fall again, the guard looks at him in turmoil and annoyance.

"Oh please, i thought we're over, just fucking move on! It's not that hard, she's dead and your crying wouldn't do anything! Your fucking tears wouldn't bring her back to life! Alright? She's dead, there's seven fucking bullets buried on her flesh." Fargo spat, his eyes burning at Felix who seem like he just didn't hear anything that he said, instead the man let out wails of cry. His red coloured hands covering his ear, shaking his small head like a madman who already lost it.

Felix cried out, "Please make it stop! Make it stop! Put end to all of this! Tell me-tell me it's all just a nightmare! No! No! This is just a nightmare none of this were true maybe im just hi-"

The pissed off guard grab Felix's collar rather aggressively, his baritone voice almost growling with so much anger while he shoot his words at the crying man like daggers. "Listen up, Felix. Wake up! This is not a fucking nightmare, this is your life and you don't have any power to change it! Not when you were already controlled by bastards who want to gain fucking advantages using you even if you break completely. Pleading and shit wouldn't save you from your situation, so wake the fuck up and see for yourself the kind of life that you have!" Fargo let him go once he was done, slamming the door right infront Felix's face. Making his way to the drivers seat.