Burn Into Me (Into Me Series Book Two)

Chapter Three - Lizzy

Jet's POV

"I could fucking kill this son-of-a-bitch," Penny grumbles, pushing more Versed through the IV.
"I know, I could too," I mutter, trying to remind myself not to grind my teeth so hard.
"Where's her mother?" Penny asks, her blonde hair that's pulled into a ponytail sweeping over her shoulders.
"In the hall, speaking with police," I respond, nodding toward the door. "I'm so sorry sweetie," I mumble to the knocked-out 12-year-old in front of me.
"The blood pregnancy test is negative," Penny tells me.
"Good. Did you fill out the tox form for the urine and blood?" I ask, measuring the laceration on the labia minora. "3.5mm for the laceration on the left labia minora."
"Yes. 3.5mm on the left labia minora," Penny repeats to me. "How did her mother let this happen to her? How did she not protect her from him?"
"It's not our place to judge her, Penelope, even if we really want to. At least not in this room. We are here for Lizzy and only Lizzy. Our dedication is to her. We are to protect her and the evidence we collect and ensure that we get all of the information we can to help her build a case," I snip, changing my gloves and grabbing some swabs.

I swab the outer labia majora, mons pubis, and her pubic hair. I place the swabs in the styrofoam cup that we are using as a makeshift stand. I change my gloves again, grabbing the set of scissors and using them to cut a small section of her pubic hair. Thank god they let us put her out for this. This would be traumatizing as fuck for her. She's been through enough, she doesn't need the memory of a strange nurse taking pubic hair samples on top of her stepdad raping her. I drop the sample into the small envelope Penny holds open for me, thanking her.

"I'm just saying..." Penny mumbles.
"And I'm just teaching you. Nursing is about putting your own feelings aside and doing what needs to be done for the best interest of the patient," I lecture, changing my gloves again. I grab another set of moistened swabs, wincing as I take a rectal swab, placing them in their own styrofoam cup.
"I'm just saying, Jet-"
"No! Nothing! You're saying nothing, Penny!" I snap, changing my gloves aggressively. I stand, throwing the chair back into the wall. "You don't get to have fucking feelings here, do you understand me?" I shout, stepping closer to her.
"I-" she stumbles, her blue eyes widening.
"You don't get to feel shit here. You don't get to have opinions here. This is not about you. This is about Lizzy and her mother and her stepfather getting thrown into jail to fucking rot. This is about the vow you took when you became a nurse. This is about doing what we can to help this poor little girl move on with her life from this. So, shove your own fucking feelings down, get yourself together, and fucking focus on being a nurse!" I yell, narrowing my eyes at her. Shove your feelings down, Jet. You can feel them later. This is about Lizzy. Don't cry. Crying won't help Lizzy.
"Okay..." Penny whispers.
"Okay. Can I have the Toluidine Blue dye, please?" I ask in my normal voice, pulling the wheely chair back underneath me and scooting my way over to the exam table again.
"Sure," she nods, handing me the applicator of the dye. "I thought we weren't supposed to do an internal exam on children under 18?"

I apply it, waiting for any microtrauma of the skin to appear. "It varies from state to state. And she specifically consented to this, as well as her mother, and we got permission from the DA. That makes her an exception, no matter how much I disagree with it. Lucky her."

There is quite a bit of microtrauma, which I rattle off to Penny to document. I then move on to swabbing the vestibule, inner labia minora, and vaginal vault, putting the swabs in their labeled cup when I'm done. I grab the speculum, a heaviness settling over me. This is about Lizzy, not about you. I swallow the lump in my throat, remembering all too well how violated I felt after this portion of my own sexual assault exam. I pull up the mask on my face, the eyeshield slightly distorting my vision.

"I'm sorry..." I breathe as I begin to insert the speculum, "I am so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry..." I mutter like a broken record as I quickly note any injuries and obtain my swabs from her vaginal canal. I move as fast as I can to get the cervical swabs, wanting nothing more than for this nightmare to be over for her. I finish collecting her samples, pulling out the speculum. I adjust her limp body so that she is lying with her legs closed and down on the table. She almost looks like she's just taking a nap now.