Burn Into Me (Into Me Series Book Two)

Chapter Thirty Eight - Eden

Jackson's POV

"You know, the idea of Santa Claus is kinda fucked up," I start, running my fingers across her bare back.
"... what?" she says abruptly, her eyebrows knitting together.

The snow continues to fall outside of our bedroom window. There's a thick layer of frost on the window pane. It's fucking freezing outside, but her and I lay under our comforter, bare skin pressed together, hearts still slightly racing from the amazing sex we just had, warm as hell. She smells like her shampoo and body wash, the intoxicating sweetness fucking irresistible. Her skin is so soft against mine. Well, besides the cuts.

"I mean, think about it," I continue. "It's a fat man who breaks into your house, eats your food, and leaves you presents made by tiny, little, human slaves. Oh, and he magically knows if you've been good or bad. How does he know? Hmm? Does he have surveillance in every room of every house in the world? Does he have spies that hide in our closets? How does he know?"

Jet sits up, turning to look at me. I try to keep eye contact but the comforter slips off of her chest and her boobs are fully displayed, covered in the hickies I gave her. The sight alone makes my dick twitch. Suddenly, all I want is to be buried deep inside of her again. I somehow manage to pull my gaze away and look into her beautiful fucking eyes, which narrow at me.

"You're ruining the magic of Christmas for me, stop," she commands, a smile threatening to poke through. "You're such a Grinch."
"What? Am I wrong?" I challenge.
"No, you're not, but you can't be thinking like that when we have kids, you'll ruin it for them," she counters.
A small stab of pain twinges at my chest, the familiar sadness creeping in. She would have been about 15.5 weeks now. It still hurts like a fresh wound sometimes. "Alright, that's fair. You're right," I tell her. "Now lie back down, you need to rest."
"Okay," she nods, yawning.

She settles back into me, slightly modifying our usual position so that I'm not lying on her arm and she's not lying on my stomach. Once we find a good spot, she hums happily and burrows in. She kisses my shoulder a few times from where she lies on it. I kiss her forehead and smile when she giggles just slightly, her cheeks flushing.

"I love you," I rasp.
She smiles against me, "I love you too."

Even though she seemed wide awake a second ago, it only takes about a minute for her to start snoring. I'm not surprised. She hadn't slept hardly at all the past few days.

She would spend all night watching my monitors and ensuring that there was not a single change. She almost became obsessed, which is why I begged to be discharged today. She was going to fucking lose it. Not eating, not leaving the room to get a break, and not sleeping; she was headed straight for a breakdown. And then the sleep she did manage to get was run by nightmares that made her whole body shake for hours after.

And then there's also the fact that she admitted to me earlier that she's afraid to sleep in our bed alone now. The one place that she's supposed to feel safest has been ruined for her. I failed her. I let this happen to her. I hurt her, yet again. She tells me that it's not on me, but we both know the truth. I swore to her after the gassing that she would never feel fear like that again, never feel hurt like that again. Some track record she has, hmm?

She's been through fucking hell lately. Most people wouldn't still be standing, but she is. That's who she is. She's not going to give in, she's too stubborn for that. She's not going to give up, she'd rather die than be labeled a quitter. She amazes me every day with the amount of shit that can be pulling her down, yet she's still standing with a smile on her face. I swear she's a fucking goddess.

And fuck, she's going to be the best mom. Our kids will never have to wonder if they're loved because she makes sure that everyone around her can feel her affection towards them so fiercely. I know that she will never let them doubt that they're wanted. She'll be gentle, but also tough when she needs to be. She will spend the rest of her life ensuring that they never feel the pain and loneliness that she has. I can't fucking wait.