Oh... who is she || Dream x Sapnap

|| Eighteen ||

CW//Suicide/Death.

As he pressed enter on the message, the text saying nothing but 'Happy Mother's day, Momma, I finally found the perfect gift to give you...', he let out a small sigh, feeling the sudden rush of adrenaline flooding his body as the prospect entered his mind again, gripping the little bottle of pills as the tears dripped down his cheeks.

Sapnap slowly unscrewed the cap and contemplated his choices... This was his last chance to back down, to save himself and try to get through this, to talk to Dream and give him the perfect relationship that he deserved... To fix his life and live normally for once... Or... He could get it all over and done with, he wouldn't have to disappoint his lover or face the consequences of his past actions... He could just be free for once in his life.

As he zoned back into reality, he immediately shook some pills out onto his palm, instinctually giving himself the prescribed amount before throwing his head back and tipping the whole bottle in along with the ones in his hands. Sapnap struggled to swallow them all, focusing on getting them down before realising what he'd done... And he was only just starting to doubt himself now...

Sapnap regretted it, he regretted everything, but it was too late now... He'd already swallowed the pills and he'd taken way more than he was ever supposed to... There was no saving himself now, unless..? He quickly grabbed his phone and opened it to call nine one one... But stopped before pressing enter... If he did call it, and really did survive, he would have to explain himself to his boyfriend and nobody would ever look at him the same.

"They'd never ever trust me again... It would just be constant worry... Everyone would baby me and pity me and never leave me the fuck alone," He cried in conflict, starting to sob as more fresh tears came rolling down. "And Punz... He'd be so disappointed in me... Even just looking at him would make me guilty..."

He picked the phone back up from where he'd dropped it, sitting down in the bathtub and curling up into a ball as he sniffled. Sapnap could feel his hands shaking as he tried to open up his contacts, slowly clicking on his chosen one and pressing call. "H-hello?" He said quietly as soon as the other picked up. "Sapnap? Where are you! I've been looking for you for hours... I was getting worried! Dream said that you weren't picking up and you weren't home when he got back."

"I-i'm at home... Y-your house...," He choked out, feeling his chest start to constrict and leaving him in agony. "But I n-n-need to tell you s-something..."

"Yes, of course, you can tell me anything..." Punz replied, chest heaving as he immediately turned and started running home, having gone out to the nearby park to search on foot for the boy.

"I just t-took a shi-hi-itload of pills..." He whispered, eyes welling up once again and pouring down his cheeks as he bit his lip, drawing a droplet of blood.

"Pills..?," Punz breathed, so shocked that he almost stopped running before recollecting his wits. "What kind of pills!?"

"Oh... You know... My a-anxiety pills..." Sap replied, struggling to inhale and exhale as his head lolled backwards, eyelids fluttering as his eyes started to roll back into his head. His lips felt numb and he couldn't move the rest of his body, only being able to weakly lift the phone to his ear.

The blonde slammed his front door open and rushed to the bathroom, knowing that it was the only room with a lock on it and obviously the most probable place for Sapnap to be. "SAP!?," He cried out, scrabbling at the handle... But, of course, it was locked from the inside. "Let me in, man, I need to get you to the hospital!"

Sapnap shook his head, groaning as each little movement sent vibrations of pain rocketing through his skull, feeling as a small stream of saliva dripped out of the corner of his mouth. "I... I can't..." He whispered shamefully.

"W-why not?!" Punz said, ramming his shoulder into the door and trying to throw it open but it wouldn't budge.

"I can't... Feel my legs... Everything hurts...," He whined, breathing shallow and raspy. "Punz... I'm so sorry..."

Still trying to force the door open, Punz was on the verge of tears himself. "No, shut it, don't you dare apologise... Because you're gonna be fine-," He groaned, finally managing to get the door open and stumble inside, dropping to his knees beside the tub and hanging up so that he could call an ambulance. "I've got you... I've got you now, okay? You're gonna be alright..."

Sapnap sniffled. "Do you hate me? Are you... Disappointed?" He asked quietly, feeling sick to the bone, like he was about to throw up... But there was nothing to regurgitate, having refused to eat for days. The blonde shook his head, grabbing one of his hands and clutching it in one of his own, using the empty one to cradle the raveonette's face. "Nobody's perfect, Pandas... I'm not disappointed in you, i'm just scared... And confused... Why..? Everything has been going great recently, hasn't it?"

"I... Just... Don't want t-to deal with... Everything," Sapnap cried, vision of the other's face starting to blur as he heaved. "I guess... T-that... I'm not a-as tough as y-you, huh?"

Punz just lowered his head, silently crying, before looking up to catch Sapnap's pained gaze for the second time... Had he arrived too late..? "D-don't leave me..." He whispered. "I need you, dude, you're my best friend... I know that i'm not yours, but I need to know if I was... If I was good enough..? Is this my fault? Is there anything that I could've done?"

"A-alright, hotshot... y-you sound so p-pathetic right now..." Sapnap laughed but immediately started coughing.

"Sap..."

Sapnap paused, feeling an overwhelming urge of guilt to stay awake just a bit longer, to reassure the man sobbing beside him. "It was n-never your fault... Actually... I w-wouldn't even b-be here today if it wasn't for you," He smiled weakly, clutching onto Punz's hand for dear life. "You w-were always more t-than I could've ever a-asked for, Punzo, you're m-more than a best friend..."

"Brother!"

"Brother!" Punz replied while he smiled, running over and hugging him despite all of the stares. "Hey, Sap! How was school?"

Sapnap pretended to gag, sticking a finger in his open mouth. "Terrible... We had a substitute, she was a bitch."

The blonde chuckled, smiling fondly, before glancing up to glare at anybody who was looking over at them, as if daring them to speak up about the fact that he'd referred to the raveonette as his brother... All of the adults around had seen him before, seen his mother picking him up, especially when his mother bragged about her 'daughter'. That was, until, she'd started complaining about her child being brainwashed by the media into thinking that they were a boy... So they knew, they ALL knew...

He looked back down as Sapnap stepped back, holding up a small parcel that he'd pulled out of his backpack. "I... Uhh... Made you this..." He said shyly as Punz took it, unwrapping it to reveal a small drawing of the both of them, everything drawn in messy smudged pencil with a little heart in the corner that had been coloured in with the colours of the trans pride flag.

"I love it!," He declared, neatly folding it up and slipping it into a see-through pocket in his wallet. "Now... Wanna go get boba? My treat."

Sapnap nodded eagerly, grabbing his hand and dragging him along as he headed towards the cafe just up the road. "Yes! Let's go! You're the best, Punzy!"

"I love you, brother..."