What have you done? || 🧠 || [Karlnapity Angst]

6

TW:
Mention of SH
Mention of abuse
Big rant about suicide
SA
Hallucinations

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I didnt even had brought stuff like bandages to help if something like this happened.

I wasnt even thinking THAT would happen.
Cutting myself wasnt in my list of plans today. I mean, everything today was going off plans.

I could still feel Schlatt's touch. It didnt feel good.
How did I even fall for someone like him? How did I let him control my life for so long? How did I even think he was a good person?

I didnt feel dizzy anymore, so I got up, put everything back in the bag, and ran to Tommy's house.
One pro of having almost nothing in my bag was that I would get less tired if I ran with it on my back

.
..
...
....
.....

Tommy lived next to old Lmanburg. The memories I had in this place... they were not the greatest.

But that wasnt important. I needed help.
I stood there, at his door, wondering if I should knock or not. I ended up knocking twice before the door opened

"Big Q! Nice to see ya around here?" He said

"Yea... Mh... I need a place to stay. Dont ask why"

"Why? I mean sure, you can, but why?"

"Thanks for helping me." I sigh "Well, I may or may not have been forced to leave my country. And I dont have anywhere to stay"

Tommy looks at me. Up and down. He signed with his hands for me to get in.
The place was just how I remembered it.
"Why did they force you, or not, to leave? Karl is such a nice guy"

"I know he is, but I guess he thinks im a threat.... like he is scared im going to "kill" him again." I sigh, sitting down in his couch "I want to go back"

"Yea. I understand the feeling of being... forced out. Locked away from your friends. You remember that too, right? When I was in exile?"

"I do remember. Thats why I came here, because you would understand my situation"

"Do you want anything to eat? I have a bunch of s-"

"No, no, i dont want to eat." I start slowly tearing up

"Oh, thats fine, I guess. If you need anything im here for you"

"Actually, do you have... bandages?"

"In the bathroom. Why?"

I get up, and go to the bathroom. I know where it is because ive been in Tommy's house before. Multiple times

I enter and lock the door. I rolled my sleeves up and searched in the drawers.
Before I do, I put water on my wrists. I try as hard as I could not to scream in pain.

After that, I put the bandages on. I started crying as soon as I did. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
Not the cuts, the feeling

I still couldnt believe that just two hours ago I was cuddling with my favourite people, and it all turned in a matter of seconds
I want to die, and die fast.
I dont want to live in this world anymore.

I look in the mirror. My eyes were red from crying so much, but I couldnt stop.
"Hey, big Q, you okay? I can hear you crying in there" Tommy says from the other side of the door

"No! No! Im not okay! Please, Tommy, please give me a moment"
I heard him slowly stepping away

I stared at the mirror.
The longer I did, the worse I felt. My face started to melt, my surroundings started darkening, i could feel my skin burning.