archenemy | clexa

forty nine

Of course it'd be Raven's shift Clarke would wake up on. She's sitting next to her best friend and just finished fixing an old radio when Clarke moves.

Raven abandons her work and looks intently, waiting whether or not Clarke would wake up before Clarke's eyes slowly flutter open. In a matter of a second, Raven is by her bed, holding her shoulders down because of course, Clarke would try to get up immediately. "Raven," she croaks.

"Hi, it's okay, you're okay. You're in the healer's tent, your injuries are healing but you've been out for a couple days because of your medication. Just stay still, I'll call your mother to check on you."

Clarke forces her head up and surveys her surroundings, then her injured leg and shoulder. She falls back on the thin pillow and her eyes begin to water, like two dark blue ponds in the depths of a nightly forest, gleaming in the moonlight. "No," she hiccups and Raven looks around helplessly. She's not sure whether or not to call one of the healers present at the moment, but given Clarke's rather fragile state, she's not sure if a guy as large as a door would be of any help.

"Hey, Clarke, it's okay," she tries to comfort, her soft hand finding Clarke's uninjured shoulder.

"No," Clarke sobs, as though she hadn't even heard Raven. Her eyes squeeze shut and clear crystal tears fall from her eyes as her hands reach up to cover her face.

"You're not supposed to move your shoulder," Raven says, though without conviction. Whatever Clarke is going through right now seems more important than medical advice.

Maybe, in all her life, Raven has never seen Clarke's face painted with such pain. (But then again, she never got to comfort Clarke when her dad died, or she was sent to Earth, or her mother was presumed dead, so she doesn't really know)

Clarke's sobs are silent now, her body curling up against its own will and Raven withdraws her hand in weak terror. "Clarke?" she breathes, heart beating fast, her thoughts going to Abby and how long it will take until the woman is with her daughter.

Raven knows these cries; the ones where her tears overflow and leave salty streaks over her face, where her face is twisted in an incurable ache that is located so deep in her chest, a chest that seems to be torn apart by breathless pain. She had them when her parents died, when she realized the abuse of her childhood, when Finn got locked up, when everything seemed utterly hopeless.

A broken heart is not an overused term to express the pain a ex-boyfriend caused, a broken heart is when your ribcage tears into pieces and your throat is so tight by sobs, they turn breathless, when the tears suffocate you in a way that you're physically nauseous, when a part of you longs for numbness, for drugs or death or sleep, because of the horror your body is suffering. And Raven is pretty sure Clarke's heart is breaking right now, for whatever reason.

"Clarke, what's wrong? What happened? Talk to me, please," Raven begs.

"She went, didn't she? I didn't want her to. I didn't want her to go."

"Who went where?"

"Lexa. She let Nia take her, she let Nia kill her, didn't she?"

Raven is utterly confused- is there a part of the story she missed or did Clarke dream bad? Medicine can mess with the brain.

"Clarke-"

"I hate her," Clarke cries. "I fucking hate her! She wasn't supposed to go! That's what Nia wanted, that's what the goddamned bitch wanted!" She looks up at Raven and Raven can't do anything but holding Clarke's weak hand, squeeze it gently to let Clarke know she's there. "I'm not more worth than she is. She shouldn't have gone. She wasn't obliged."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Raven says softly. "The Heda didn't go anywhere, I think she's with Anya right now. I mean, she would be here, but Anya practically dragged her out to have some lunch. Do you want me to call her?"

Clarke's eyes are big on Raven's. "Lexa is alive?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't she be?"

The same moment, Abby rushes into the tent and kneels beside Clarke's bed, mirroring Raven. "Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling? Why are you cry- oh, oh, yes, Lexa is okay. She's on her way."

"Why is everybody saying that the Heda is okay? I mean that's great, but it's not about her right now, is it?"

Abby clears her throat and looks at Raven. "Anya didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That the Heda sacrificed herself? The queen of Azgeda captured Clarke, that's where she got her wounds. Offered a trade against the Heda's life."

"And the Heda- she agreed?"

"Yes. Roan, the prince of Azgeda, he apparently saved them in the end. He's the Heda's brother. God, Raven, aren't you caught up on anything?"

"He's her brother?" Raven's eyes grow even larger than they already are. "Oh my God, what a plot twist, fantastic! Wait, so the queen is the Heda's mother? That's what I call a family rivalry, holy shit, mother and daughter going to war against each other, daughter not even knowing it! So the mother wanted the daughter dead and the daughter complies because she's into Clarke's boobs and Clarke is crying because she's into the daughter's boobs?"

"That's- that's not how it happened," Abby says, brows pinched together.

"No, I know, I know, there are lots of women with great boobs besides Clarke, you and me and Anya for example. Damn, I mean I had a feeling for them from the start but I wouldn't have put so much trust into their relationship. Ha! I would've liked to see your face when you found out, Abby. Loveless cavewoman, huh? Going to die so Clarke can live? That's what I call love. Hey, is that bitch of a queen still alive? Maybe she can test whether Anya is just as committed."

"Raven."

"What? I'm seriously impressed! Clarke, hey, it's okay, your knightess in shining armor is alive and well! Wow! If I didn't have Anya, I'd almost be jealous of you, what a girlfriend to have! Are you going to marry?"

But Clarke isn't paying much attention. She is unable to process the fact that both Lexa and she herself got out of this alive, that Lexa was actually ready to die for Clarke after what, a couple weeks of being together, that the figure now appearing in the tent is defnintely familiar. "Lexa," she breathes and stretches out her arms as good as she can with her shoulder.

"We should leave them alone," Raven whispers painfully loudly.

"Right yes, Clarke, any immediate pain I should check on right now or can that wait a few minutes?"

"Can wait," Clarke mutters absentminded. And if every cell of her body had ached, she wouldn't have said a word if it meant getting to be with Lexa for a few moments.

So Abby and Raven leave, and Lexa pulls a chair close to Clarke's bed to sit down next to her. "Niron," she says gently. "How do you feel?"

Clarke starts crying again and asks for a hug by extending her arms further. Lexa carefully leans in. "You shouldn't have," Clarke hiccups, head resting on Lexa's shoulder, taking in the fresh scent of pine.

"I needed to. I wanted to."

"No, no, you would have died-"

"You saved me when I was your enemy, do you really expect me to leave you to die when you are my lover?" Lexa asks and looks at Clarke, gently stroking her cheek. "I love you, Clarke. I committed to you. I may not understand everything about love, but I understand that it cannot be a mere soothing of my nightmares from you, baths together and movie nights in stupid sweaters. I'm here for everything, okay? Even if that means death."

And Clarke cries even harder.

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