𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐒, Alex Alvarez

twelve - one day

•~3rd person P.O.V~•
TRANSLATIONS: SPANISH TO ENGLISH (done by google translate so the translations are probably shit😭)
-none

⚠︎︎WARNING:THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MARIA BEING HYPER-VIGILANT⚠︎︎
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Maria and Schneider spent two whole days designing her room. They painted the walls a pastel blue, filled the bookshelves with books placed from tallest to shortest, filled her closet and drawers with clothes, filled her jewelry box, bought her makeup despite her not knowing how to use it, bought her white fluffy bedsheets and light blue pillows.

They filled her walls with pictures of her, Schneider, Alex, Penelope, Lydia, Elena, her mom, friends, and other family members. Then some of her favorite celebrities and posters of her favorite shows and movies with a big TV mounted on the wall.

Schneider had even bought her some stuffed animals to put on her bed, a bedside table with a lamp, and a small mini fridge with snacks and drinks. There were small candles and cacti in places to fill the space, it was beyond perfect.

Schneider had set her up with a therapist, which the doctors had advised, he was trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible. He constantly made her feel loved, telling her he loved her and that if she needed to talk then he was always there.

He didn't bother her if she was in her room, besides when he knocked and checked up on her. He helped her through panic attacks, nightmares, and self-hating thoughts. He offered to take her places when he could tell she was spiraling, and he took some classes that showed him how to deal with certain situations. Although, he'd had some practice with helping with panic attacks from Penelope.

"You don't have to do all this, Schneider," Maria said when Schneider took her to get ice cream. She wasn't sure how to feel. Her dad showered her with presents, but that was only because it was a way to groom her and try and make her forgive him. Because of that, she always felt off when receiving gifts. Although, she appreciated every gift from Schneider.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a bite of his ice cream.

"All the gifts and things." She glanced up at Schneider, she was still used to being open about her feelings and thoughts. She'd been pushed into silence for so long, it was hard to get out of such a habit. "I know you love me, I know you care about me, you don't have to give me all these things, don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of them." Maria pressed her lips tightly together. She knew Schneider wouldn't blow up and yell at her, but she still had the fear left over from her father's abuse.

"It's no problem, I don't mind." Schneider shrugged. Honestly, he didn't know what to do. Giving gifts and doing things for people was the way Schneider showed his love and how he showed he cared. He wasn't sure how to make Maria feel more comfortable or less jumpy.

"I'm sorry I'm so jumpy and everything, hyper-vigilant I think is the word, I-I don't want you to walk on eggshells around me." Schneider knew he was doing just that. He and everyone else were walking on eggshells, but Maria's therapist said that was the best thing for now. Be extra careful for now, let her body and mind calm before being touchy or loud around her.

Maria's therapist said that they were allowed to hug her or touch her hand, but only if Maria said they could. That they were to ask before touching her so as not to trigger her or make her uncomfortable. They were supposed to speak softly, with no yelling or loud sudden noises. Maria's therapist said that Maria would be less jumpy in the future, that her body would soon feel at ease and they could ease up on the precautions.

"We all just want to make sure you feel okay, Maria." Maria understood that she understood everyone felt bad for her and wanted her to be comfortable. They wanted her to settle in, to lose the restrictions she put on herself because of her dad, and to be happy.

"I know, but..." Maria pulled her lip between her teeth, not knowing how to explain what she was feeling, "I don't wanna be an inconvenience, like...I-I don't want you guys to have to change things just for me." Schneider furrowed his eyebrows, hearing what Maria said but not quite understanding.

So she didn't want them to change things for her? She felt like she was being an inconvenience? Schneider didn't understand. She wasn't an inconvenience, and no one minded being careful around her. No one minded because they understood. No one minded because Maria was amazing, and they felt terrible about what happened to her.

Schneider just wished that Maria could see herself through everyone else's eyes. In his eyes, Maria was his saving grace. She was the whole reason he was sober, the whole reason he was the man he is today. In Schneider's eyes, Maria could do no wrong. She was the perfect kid and he'd do anything to protect her.

In Alex's eyes, Maria was beyond perfect. She was funny, smart, cool, and brave. She was courageous, she was beautiful, she was kind, she was amazing. He'd give anything and everything up for her, he'd sacrifice the world if it was to save her.

Schneider knew Maria didn't understand. She didn't understand why people liked her so much, but that was something she and her therapist were working on. Along with trying to make Maria shake the rules her dad had put in place.

Schneider let her wear whatever she wanted, she was allowed to wear makeup, she was allowed to hang out with boys, she didn't have to cook him meals, and Schneider didn't really have any chores for her to do. Those, along with many other rules, were hard to adjust from. The chokehold her dad had on her was tight, it was meant to keep her in line, to keep her under his control.

Maria wasn't going to let him have a hold on her anymore. She could wear what she wanted and do what she wanted, as long as Schneider said it was okay. She could be a kid, she could relax, and she didn't have to worry about being hit or touched.

But it was hard. Maria knew it wouldn't be easy to adjust, that it wouldn't happen immediately. She was still jumpy, she flinched at sharp movements, sudden loud noises, and shied away from any sort of touch. She could work on it, she'd get there, and maybe...one day...she'd be able to open up.

Open up about a different kind of abuse she'd gone through. Not feel so self-loathing because of it, realize it wasn't her fault and she couldn't have done anything to prevent it. That her mom dying wasn't her fault. Because it wasn't, none of it was. It was a hard realization, one she'd been needing. When she first heard Schneider say it, she sobbed.

She'd been waiting for years for someone to say that to her. That she was a kid, she couldn't have done anything. That her dad was in the wrong, and it was okay that she was so scared. She'd been waiting, and hearing it from Schneider was all she ever needed.
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A/n: just wanted to say that the next chapter might trigger some people because it is the "outside" episode. There will be a trigger warning at the start of the chapter but I thought I'd give another heads up <3 (also, Dad Schneider🥹)
Word Count:1,298