someone to stay || obx one shots

Love and Hate

Set 7 months before S1

John B + JJ

☆☆☆

John B frowned a little as he glanced outside and spotted JJ sat down out on the dock, staring out across the water, hardly moving.

He was a little confused because of how early it was, the sun only recently risen. Even he'd only gotten up to grab a drink, and JJ was anything but a morning person.

Placing down his glass he slipped on his flip-flops and headed outside, wandering down the dock until he reached his friend, who glanced up the second he heard him coming.

"You're up early." John B commented, taking a seat beside him.

JJ shrugged a little. "Couldn't get back to sleep." He murmured quietly, turning back to stare at the water.

John B frowned a little. "You okay?" He asked. "You seem kind of... out of it."

JJ didn't say anything for a while, before he sighed, shrugging a little. "Just thinking." He replied.

"About?" John B pressed.

JJ sighed. "It's my Mum's birthday today." He eventually muttered out.

John B took a deep breath. "Oh..." He whispered, hesitating a little. "Are you alright?" 

John B knew what it was like not to have his Mum around, both his and JJ's Mum's had disappeared when they were both only kids, but in his eyes, they were two different situations.

His Mum had left him with a loving Father, sure he may of been a little treasure obsessed and wasn't always around, but he couldn't deny that he loved him with all his heart, and he loved his Dad, more than anything now that he'd been missing at sea for two months.

But JJ's situation was different. His Mum had left when he was five, and had left him with a lousy excuse for a father. JJ's Mum had known what Luke was like, and had still left her son alone with him, and John B knew Luke could and would beat up JJ for literally anything. Many times his best friend had turned up at his door covered in blood and bruises, traumatised from his recent encounter with his Dad. 

Some times weren't too bad, just a couple kicks, a few punches, things JJ easily shrugged off, able to carry on like nothing had happened, like it didn't bother him. But other times were worse, the times when he'd show up at the Chateau barely able to stand, tears forced back, face bloody, ribs cracked, shaking or trembling, he'd try his hardest to be brave as John B patched him up, but sometimes everything just got too much and he'd have a break down, curled into John B's arms, muttering about what happened, asking why he had to have a Dad like Luke, and the most painful question, why his Mum left him with Luke. 

"I don't really know." JJ cut through his friend's thoughts. "I hate that I don't know how to feel when it comes to her." 

John B stared at him for a moment before slowly nodding. "I get it," He said slowly. "You don't know whether to love her, cause she's your Mum, or to hate her, because she left... left you with Luke." 

JJ nodded slowly, reaching up to fiddle with the shark tooth necklace hanging around his neck. "She knew what he was like, she knew about the drinking, the drugs, even the drug smuggling, she knew he was violent." He mumbled.

John B stayed quiet, letting JJ talk, because he hardly ever opened up like this. 

"He was never violent towards me when she was around," JJ added. "And I don't think I ever told her when he'd give me a harsh clap across the head or whatever - I dunno, maybe I did - I don't remember much." 

"That's understandable," John B breathed. "You were five when she left."

"I just don't get why she'd leave me with someone like Luke to raise me?" JJ whispered, his voice suddenly choked. "Did she seriously hate me that much?"

"JJ, I'm sure she doesn't hate you." John B said sadly, his heart aching. 

JJ sighed. "Sometimes that's hard to believe." He admitted. "I - I know she left because of Dad, but he's always telling me, always trying to drill into my head that it was my fault, that she left because of me, and considering I hardly remember anything before she left, sometimes it's way too easy to think that's true, that she did leave because of me-"

"She didn't leave because of you-"

"You don't even know her JB." JJ cut him off quietly. 

John B hesitates. "I hate to say this, but you don't know her much either." He said carefully. "How do you know for certain she hates you?"

JJ turned his head to face him. "It's just kinda hard to think she loves me when she left like that." He grumbled. 

John B nodded a little, he understood that more than anything.

"And now I don't know how I should feel about it." JJ choked. "I want to hate her, she left me, I don't want to, well, want her - But I do, I want her back so badly. I hardly even remember her but I want her back. I hate her and I love her at the same time." 

John B didn't hesitate in wrapping his arm around JJ's shoulder, and JJ didn't hesitate in wresting his head on John B's shoulder. 

"I understand how you're feeling," John B said gently. "Our situations are different but the same, I wonder if my Mum loves me too, but at the end of the day, we can't change anything, it is what it is and we have each other."

JJ smiled weakly. "That was mushy." He teased softly.

John B chuckled gently. "True though," He said with a small shrug. "We've survived this long without Mum's. I mean, we're both a little cracked around the edges but we're mostly okay."

JJ laughed at this, shaking his head a little in amusement. "Somehow you always know how to make me feel better." He breathed.

John B looked down at him. "What do you say we go surfing?" He asked.

JJ lifted his head and nodded at his friend. "That sounds like a really good idea." He breathed.

John B nodded back. "And as far as your Mum goes, it's perfectly fine to love her and hate her at the same time." He reminded him. "It's perfectly normal."

JJ stared at him. "Thank you." He whispered after a while. "For this."

John B clapped him on the shoulder. "You're like a brother to me JJ," He told him, voice soft. "Just doing my job."

JJ chuckled, before he slowly stood, hand almost unknowingly going up to fiddle with his necklace again. "I'm gonna say avoid my Dad today." He breathed. "I'll just crash at yours if that's okay?"

"You know it is." John B replied. "I'm not gonna kick you home."

"You better not." JJ muttered playfully as they headed back for the house.

"Come on," John B said with a laugh. "I'll race you to the beach."

JJ chuckled. "Oh you're on."

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆♡
Season 4 better be focused around JJ and his family or I will riot 😂