Sickening Desire

5. Secrets out

(Aspen)

I follow Brandon to his bedroom as he tries to walk away from me. As soon as he admitted he'd been seeing our professor I was so shocked that I couldn't speak for a few moments. And as soon as I told him that it was beyond fucked up for the forty year old man to be sleeping with an eighteen year old he got frustrated with me and walked away claiming "you wouldn't get it."

Then when it dawned on me that they must have been sleeping together when he was seventeen because he only just turned eighteen I almost fucking threw up. We got into an argument when I told him he was a victim and now I'm standing outside his bedroom door. Knocking and yelling at him to let me in and talk to me.

"What's the point? Your just gonna start with that victim shit again. I'm not a fucking victim I'm in love and your not listening to a word I'm saying!" He shouts from the other side of the door. I sigh, "Bran just let me in. I'm sorry okay? I'll let you talk and I'll listen but you've gotta me halfway and do the same okay?"

A beat passes. Two. Three. Before I hear the door unlock and open, he's walk over to his bed and props himself up against the headboard and taps the other side of his bed. I tuck my hair behind my ears and walk over to sit with him. "Tell me everything. I won't interrupt until your done. I promise." I say softly to him. He runs a hand through his hair and begins to tell me what happened. And I listen.

"It started a few months into him teaching us. I had a crush on him but I wasn't gonna do anything about it obviously because he's our professor. But then he said I should start coming by after class because I wasn't doing as well as everyone else." He takes a breath. "I don't even know how it happened but we kissed and it was like I had finally found the one. Like I had finally found someone who really understood me and could love me regardless." He smiles at the memory and my heart fucking aches. "We started meeting before classes and after, then sometimes he'd invite me over to his house and we'd.." he raises his eyebrows and gestures with his hands that they had sex.

I laugh slightly at this. He's always been a little uncomfortable when talking about sex. "Anyway we did that for a few months and I get that we can't let anyone regarding the school know about us because they'd say the same shit you were just saying. I'm not a victim. I knew what I was doing the whole time and I couldn't be happier right now." I nod sympathetically.

"But all I want is to go on an actual date or something, like see a movie or go for a walk together, or even just fucking hold my hand! But he won't, am he just starts yelling at me and calling me stupid for not understanding how serious this could get, but I do get it! Why does no one get that I get it?! I'm not some dumb little kid with a crush I'm an adult with a fully functioning brain that can decide what I do and how I do things. But what really fucking gets to me is when he calls me a kid. Whenever we argue it's always the same shit about me not being mature enough. Which I fucking bullshit."

He finally takes a breath to inhale some oxygen. There's desperation and frustration in his eyes along with salty tears waiting to fall. My head tilts as a frown pulls at my lips. "Oh Bran." I whisper. When he looks up at me I waste no time in throwing myself onto him and wrapping my arms around him while he cries softly into my neck.

After a few moments we pull apart and I wipe away the fallen tears on both our faces. "Let me talk now?" I ask. He nods and offers me a weak smile. "I'm happy your happy Bran, I promise you I am. I know your not a kid who can't think for himself, your an adult. But you weren't when this thing started. And that's not your fault at all, no matter how aware you were of it or how much you wanted it. It was wrong. He was wrong. Is wrong. Please try to see it like that." I sigh and close my eyes in thought.

"I won't tell anyone, but please keep me updated on it. It's wrong of him to be doing this but I can't stop you. I won't stop you if I know that your happy. Just please keep that in mind and be safe." I whisper.

I hear him swallow. "I will. I promise."