Sickening Desire

10. Forget about it

(Theo)

(The next week)

I wash my hands and push through the bathroom door to walk to my next class. Physics. I sit next to Aspen in this class, fuck.

She's been fucking with my mind lately and that fucking kiss on Friday has my head spinning with confusion. Like what the fuck? What was she planning to get out of that. First it was the party a few weeks ago where her tongue was down Chase's throat but her eyes where on me. So obviously when I was kissing whoever that girl was I looked at Aspen too. It was only because I was waiting for her to look away first. Then she kisses Kyle in front of me which is gross considering no one has any idea where his mouth has been. And now she kisses me.

Sure we were both out of our minds drunk but she still kissed me. So what if I kissed her back, what was do supposed to do? She's a good looking girl and she leaned in to kiss me so of course my alcohol warped mind tricked me into kissing her.

I walk through the classroom door as the room begin to fill with students and I see Aspen sitting in her usual seat, I walk over and avoid looking at her when I sit down next to her. Fuck sake this is awkward. I swallow and get out my sketchbook so I can focus on something other than this stupid tension between us. I get my pencil out ready but I have no motivation, my mind is completely fucking blank. Well it's not blank, it's fucking filled actually but all my current thoughts are her. Just her. Fuck!

I close my book with a huff, pissed over the fact she's now ruined one of the only things that can actually help me escape this shitty world. I glance at her out of the corner of my eye, discreetly, and see her face as still as stone and looking forward, giving her full attention to the professor talking. My brows furrow, how the hell is she being so normal about this? I've been loosing my fucking mind this weekend because the best kiss I've ever fucking had was with the one girl I hate. And she hates me too so why am I fucking stressing over her?

I grit my teeth and tap my finger against the desk at a quick pace impatiently. I hear Aspen huff out an annoyed breath next to me so I quicken my pace or tapping, then finally she acknowledges me after a few more seconds and snaps, "Stop fucking doing that it's annoying as shit." She turns to look at me and I lock eyes with her before lifting my hand off the desk and slouching down into the chair with a tired expression. She really does just ruin everything. She slumps back down in her seat, trying to get comfortable and pay attention to the professor talking at the front of the room.

I look at her again, trying to be subtle, and I'm actually starting to fucking wonder if I imagined the whole thing. Aspen looks completely fucking calm and unbothered while I'm over here panicking and pacing back and forth in my mind. I need to ask her about it, I mean I have to! We need to talk and get rid of this stupid tension between us. The bell rings, telling us it's the end of the day and we can finally go home, Aspen must have fucking super speed or something because before I can even get out of my seat she's already walking away towards the door.

I jump out of my chair and fast walk in her direction, trying not to look like a complete fucking weirdo chasing a girl around the school. She's outside school now, already walking to her apartment I assume so I quickly rush up to her, panting out of breath and walk in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. She glances up at me and throws me an unimpressed glare which I brush off and get straight to the point, "We gotta talk about it." I say with my eyebrows raised so she can see how serious I'm being. Her brows pull in and she feigns a confused expression, "Oh ,whatever could you be talking about Mr Hughes?" Um what?

"The fuck are you playing at smurfette?" I ask impatiently.
"I don't answer to that name and I have absolutely no idea what your talking about, but if you'll excuse me I really need to go and look at some bread." She says before going to step past me but I stand in front of her and block her path once again. She groans, "Oh my god Theo what the fuck do you want?!" Bingo. Finally dropping her dumbass clueless act. "We need to talk about what happened last week." "Why do we need to talk about anything?!" She asks.

"Because-" I go to answer her but quickly stop myself when I realise I don't have an answer for her. She's right, why do we need to talk about anything? We both dislike each other, strongly, and we jus kissed. It was one time and it was a stupid mistake that won't happen again. I just need to go back to hating her and annoying her like normal so then she can do the same and we'll be go to go and back to normal. "I don't know it's just awkward between us now." I end up saying, so I don't look like a loser just starring at her. She sighs and rubs her forehead with her right hand in exhaustion and annoyance I presume. "What do you want Theo?" She asks calmly when she looks up at me. I let out a harsh breath before replying, "Nothing, can we just stop being weird and go back to normal. We can just pretend the whole thing never happened, right?" I ask. She wastes no time, "Right. Yeah let's just forget about it." She says before walking away. This time I let her.

We just agreed to go forget about the kiss. So why is it still the only thing I'm thinking about?