Sickening Desire

9. First kiss

(Aspen)

I'm back at my apartment now and Brandon is in my room helping me pick out an outfit. He's not coming with me, once again. He's meeting up with Miles in his fucking car. A car! I mean what the fuck? Brandon deserves so much more than this. Than him. I hope he'll realise it one day and finally find someone who really gets him. Preferably one that's around his own age but hey! I'm just his best and only friend, what do I know?

I finally decide on a tight black dress with white spaghetti straps that reaches down to my mid thigh. I curl the ends of my blue hair and let it flow down my back. I choose to apply light makeup and pick out small silver hoops with black heels and do a twirl to show off my appearance for Brandon. "You look hot." He says with a smile and I quickly clip on a dainty sliver necklace before saying my goodbyes to Bran and walking across campus to Kyles house.

I rub my hands up and down my arms to ease the chill that's hits me when I step outside. It's almost pitch black out and I have to use the flashlight on my phone to clear my path so I don't fall over anything. After a few moments I'm outside his house and already smell the weed seething from the many teens that are drunkenly stumbling over air. I walk up the stairs to the door and walk through, I remember where the drinks table is from the last party so I immediately strut over to grab the red solo cup and fill it with the first drink I see.

While I'm sipping the drink I glance up from the cup to scan the room for any familiar faces when I see Theo and Kyle talking to some of the friends while girls basically grind themselves on all of them. Kyle must spot me from the corner of his eye and he quickly leaves the group he was with to come up to me. Just as I'm about to say hello he takes the cup from my hand and places it onto the table, grabs my face and pressed his mouth to mine. I let out a surprised gasp as his hands move down to grip my waist and pull me against his body. He breaks the kiss and pulls my hand till I'm following him across the room.

He shuts us in a bathroom but before I can say anything or protest he crushes his lips against mine one more. I push at his chest while telling him to "stop" and "let go of me" until he breaks apart from this kiss with an annoyed groan, "what are playing at? Just fuck me already." He says before trying to pull me against him again. I grit my teeth and push him harder, when he's at a reasonable distance from me I turn around open the bathroom door.

I start practically running out but I slow down and start to calm myself when I see Theo and his friends. They don't look up at me when I walk past but then again I keep my fucking head down. I go back to the drinks table and down another drink. Kyle caught me off guard with that. I was planning on sleeping with him tonight but I'm not into fucking rough play and I don't exactly feel too flattered by some dick I'm not even interested in trying to force himself on me.

Somehow I've drank five drinks and four shots in the space of a few minutes, trying to calm myself down so I don't go back and claw his fucking tongue out his mouth. I huff and walk over to an empty couch in a slightly quieter corner of the room. It's darker here as well, no colourful strobe lights and no more drunk assholes to bother me. I slump down on the couch and stare at my surroundings that seem to be spinning. Wow. Fucking lightweight much?

My head falls into my hands as I let out a loud groan, I pause. I wasn't the only one letting out a groan. I turn my head and see Theo sitting next to me on the sofa. "When the fuck did you get here?" I ask, slurring my words.

"I was here before you so just shut the fuck up alright? My heads killing me."he snaps back at me while rubbing his temple with his hand that's not holding onto a red solo cup. We're sitting so close to one another. So close. I lean back and rest my head on the back rest of the sofa. He does the same.

"What happened with you and Kyle? Thought you two would still be fucking." He says, breaking the silence that falls between us. I sigh, "Nothing happened because your bestie is a fucking loser who can't take no for an answer."

I feel his stare on the side of my face so I turn my head to face his gaze head on. Our faces are so close I can feel his hot breath on my face, "I can feel you staring at me. You aren't being very subtle, you know." I whisper. He doesn't say anything, he just continues to search my eyes like he's looking for answers to something. We're just sitting here, alone, where it's quite and dark. I can feel his breath softly fanning my face while we're just watching each other.

My eyes scan his face and it's like I'm seeing him for the first time again in the schools halls. Except we're older now, and younger us would be throwing up right now if they could see how close we are. And we're not cursing at one another, we're silent.

Maybe it's because I'm angry with the whole Kyle situation or maybe it's just because I'm drunk and not thinking clearly, but before I know it, I'm leaning forward and kissing him.

And oh my god does it feel good.

He freezes just for a second before he reacts, pulling me into him and kissing me back with such force it actually makes me dizzy. We adjust ourselves so as much of our bodies are pressed against each other as possible and my body reacts to him. I straddle him without breaking the kiss and my legs automatically tighten around his torso.

We're both getting breathless, but we don't stop. There's something frantic about the way we're kissing, something desperate about it. Our lips have found a rhythm of their own and our tongues move in sync together. His hands are in my hair, on my back, anywhere he can get to while he groans into the kiss and I start grinding my hips into his groin.

Wait- grinding my hips into his groin?! What the fuck am I doing?

I suddenly come to my senses. I am making out with Theo, and if we carry on like this, it won't end there. Theo Hughes, the Theo Hughes. The boy I've hated since the second I saw him. The boy who constantly annoys me and makes me feel like shit with his insults. This would only give him more to talk about to last the rest of the fucking year. We have to stop.

I break away suddenly, prying his hands off my hips and clambering off him.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry." I rush out breathlessly before he can say anything. I'm standing now and I love to the side of him to grab my phone off the couch. Theo looks up at me, dazed, like he can't quite figure out what just happened. My heart is hammering in my chest so loudly I'm sure he can hear it.

"Shit I'm sorry. I shouldn't have don't that. I wasn't thinking properly, I'm drunk and confused. Please just forget about it." I plead.

"Aspen-"
I cut him off before he can say anything else. "I have to go, let's pretend this never happened. Shit, I'm sorry." I turn around and practically run towards the door where I start my journey home and call Brandon to tell him I'm on my way back.

Great fucking job Aspen. As if my life wasn't complicated enough I just had to go and kiss my least favourite person on the fucking planet. Well fucking done.