Sickening Desire

12. Deal

(Aspen)

My body breaks out in a cold sweat and I wake up breathless with goosebumps covering my skin. I sigh and run my fingers through my blue hair. Another night another nightmare.

I used to get a lot more upset over my nightmares but after two years of them I'm pretty much used to them. The doctor prescribed me medication to help me sleep better but I stopped taking them after a few months because they did fuck all. And I was put on antidepressants for the first ten months after the incident but once again just stopped after a while. After it happened I was a mess, Brandon had to take care of me like I was his child. I will forever be grateful to him for that. I genuinely don't think I'd be here without him.

I lost count of how many nights he stayed at my house after it happened. And every night without fail he held me until my crying stopped, and every day he would make sure I got up, brushed my teeth and my hair, changed my clothes and showered. He, along with the doctors, were scared that I'd lose myself after what happened.

The nightmares are different every night but so so similar. Some nights it's about the incident, some nights it's the funeral, but sometimes it's just him. I just see his face everywhere I go. My alarm clock distracts me from my thoughts which tells me it's time to start getting ready for my first class.

I'm being as quite as possible when I look for something to wear because Brandon doesn't have any classes today so he gets to sleep in. Lucky bastard. I pick out a fitted brown longe sleeve shirt and black denim shorts and straighten my hair. I quickly put some light makeup on and grab my bag to head out. I lock the door behind me and start making my way across campus towards the school where I see a few other students making their way in the building.

I walk through the open door to my physics classroom and see Theo already sitting down. He's weirdly one of the first few people in the room and he was already facing the door, as if he was waiting to see someone. He looks different today, did he brush his hair? When I get to my seat and sit beside him I notice something else. Has he got after shave on? He smells fucking gorgeous.

When I look at his face the weirdest fucking thing happens. He smiles at me. Fucking smiles. My brows pull in, "Dude what are you doing?" I ask with a grimace. His face drops and he turns to face me in his seat but before he can say anything I hear the door close. I look up and see our professor walking to her desk to start the class. Theo sighs like he's annoyed we were interrupted before whispering in my ear, "I have an idea and I need to talk to you about." When he leans back I give him a confused look before focusing on what the professor is saying.

(1 hour 15 mins later)

Class is finally over and I pack away my textbook in my bag and start getting up, Theo give me a look which reminds me that he still wants to talk to me about something. We walk out of the room together and head through the school doors so we're standing outside where the sun hits his face and makes his eyes stand out. No, Aspen stop it, don't think like that.

I sigh and turn to face him while crossing my arms over my chest and slightly tilting my head, "Go on then." I say. He licks his lips and opens his mouth before shutting it again, he looks nervous, he hesitates for a second longer but before I can get any more annoyed he quickly blurts out, "I think we should fuck." Wha-

My jaw literally drops as I tilt my head back to its original position and search his eyes, waiting for him to reveal this is a joke or a prank. But he doesn't. He just fucking stands there awaiting my answer. "W-what did you just say?" I stutter out. I'm completely fucking shocked. I don't have any words to reply to what he just said. He runs a hand through his hair and waits for a few moments before finally speaking up, "Look ok, I don't know why but for some reason ever since that kiss at Kyle's party I can't seem to enjoy other women like I enjoyed you that night and there's this weird tension between us so I think we should just fuck and get it out of our system."

I'm blinking so fast I actually start to see stars. I'm not processing his words at all, where the fuck as this come from? He's joking. He must be joking. "Why are you fucking with me?" I ask annoyed he's wasting my time. "I don't wanna fuck with you, I just wanna fuck you." He says with a smirk. He must sense my shock and confusion because before I can say anything he quickly adds on, "Come on smurfette, what's the harm? Let's just make this a one time deal with no feelings involved and then we can go back to hating each other or even just pretending the other person doesn't exist, it's up to you."

Why am I actually considering this? I haven't been able to think about anything else but Theo since the night I kissed him at that stupid party. Fucking hell why did I even do that? The morning after that night I literally just sat in bed staring at the wall and started asking myself why the hell I decided to kiss Theo. Of all the people in the whole world I chose to kiss the most annoying fucking person ever. Not to mention I hate him. And I hate that stupid fucking smirk he still has on his face.

As if hearing my thoughts his smirk drops and I can tell he's about to say something else and honestly the more he talks the more I want to punch him in the face. So instead I decide to do him a favour and stop him from talking another way, I huff out a harsh breath and mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to do and potentially, what I'm about to start.

With that thought in mind I grip his shirt in my fist, drag our bodies closer together and mutter, "Stop talking" before angling my head to the right, pushing myself up on my toes and pressing my lips to his. Just as he goes to make the kiss deeper by sliding in his tongue i pull away and feel his fast breaths hit my face.

"Deal." I whisper against his lips.