"THE PRINCESS & THE QUEEN" series -SCROLL VII: SACRAMENTS FOR SUBSTANTIATION

pt.8

Morning came all too soon for Xena as she awoke and quickly noticed that in a rare instance Gabrielle had actually gotten up before her. She turned to her side as she watched Gabrielle looking out their bedroom window for a few moments. She smiled to herself as she thought about how she always loved the way the morning sunlight played on Gabrielle's long golden hair. As well as seeing it radiating over the features of the woman that Xena loved more than she could've ever imagined that she'd be able to love anyone. But then her smile faded as she remembered what they had gone through the day before. She knew that they needed to talk. Xena didn't want to upset Gabrielle but she needed to try and get her to understand what continuing down this road with having to witness the worst parts of Xena's former self might lead. As brave, heroic, invisible and sometimes even inhuman as Xena might have seemed to those around her, she still had her own insecurities and fears. Though she rarely let them show to the outside world. And in all honesty there were very few who were truly allowed to see the tough exterior walls of "the warrior princess" come down and see just Xena as an actual person. And Gabrielle was one of those select few. Infact she had seen parts of Xena that no one else ever had. Parts that until Gabrielle had gotten through the defenses that had been put up so long ago, Xena herself didn't even know layed dormant in the deepest depths of her own self. So having Gabrielle see her at her very worst admittedly scared Xena. Likely far more than it had actually frightened Gabrielle. But unlike Gabrielle Xena's fear wasn't from being shown the anger, blood or violence. No her fear came from what Gabrielle must think about her now. The fear that had always lurked in a small place at the back of Xena's mind that one day her dark and horrific past would finally become too much for Gabrielle and drive her away forever. Not that Xena would ever blame her. Truthfully Xena had always been surprised that it hadn't already happened. But now, now Xena was certain that this could very well be the the thing that finally does get Gabrielle to leave and likely take the child they share with her. Not that she would blame her but if that was the case Xena was determined to try anything she could that might get Gabrielle to change her mind.

XENA
Hey.

Hearing Xena's voice, Gabrielle looked over to the bed where Xena still layed.

GABRIELLE
Hey. You okay? It's not like you to sleep in so late.

XENA
Yeah. Though I was just about to ask you the same thing. You being okay I mean.  It's not really like you to be up so early without having someone wake you.

Gabrielle shrugged as she walked over and sat at the foot of the bed as Xena sat up.

GABRIELLE
Guess I couldn't sleep much.

XENA
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

There was an uncomfortable silence between them until Xena finally spoke.

XENA
Look Gabrielle about yesterday. What we saw. I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see those things. No one should.

Xena looked down but returned her gaze towards Gabrielle when she felt Gabrielle place her hand over hers as it rested in her lap.

GABRIELLE
I'm okay Xena, really. Like I've told you I already know who you used to be but I don't care. I love the person that you are now and that's not going to change just because of some visions of a woman who's long gone now.

XENA
You say that but I still don't think it'll a good idea to go back in there. I don't even wanna think of what else we might be shown if we do.