"THE PRINCESS & THE QUEEN" series -SCROLL VII: SACRAMENTS FOR SUBSTANTIATION

pt.25

Xena stood anxiously waiting and hoping that her words had gotten through to Gabrielle. She watched as the spirits resembling Gabrielle and herself had stopped speaking and were now just floating in place, looking at Gabrielle who was still curled up in the middle of the floating rock in the sea of lava within the cave. When she didn't get a response, Xena called out to Gabrielle again.

XENA
Gabrielle.

Xena waited for another moment or two, but again Gabrielle didn't move or acknowledge her at all.

XENA
Gabrielle, please. I know you're still in there. You have to listen to me. You can't let them get to you. Everything I just said is the honest truth.

Yet again Xena's words appeared to fall on deaf ears. As she attempted to get through to her, Xena could've sworn that she could almost feel the emotional turmoil that swirled inside of Gabrielle herself. It felt so dark and heavy and Xena wondered even more how she'd not been able to see any of it sooner. While Xena was no stranger to feeling guilt and regret, the feeling of inadequacy was something that she wasn't all too familiar with. Of course, they were times that she'd felt it, but never to this level. It was so much that it was nearly suffocating. Xena would have wondered how she was able to sense what Gabrielle was feeling, but she figured that it must've been the spirits doing.

XENA
(Thinking to herself) is this what Gabrielle's been feeling? It's so dark, so angry, sad, defeated. I've felt defeated before but nothing like this. I'm sure it's worse right now due to those damned spirits, but to think that Gabrielle's been silently carrying this with her for a while now. And I had no idea. Most people would've just given in a while ago but she's kept fighting this battle. And fighting this battle alone. I have to reach her somehow. But what can I do? Come on Xena think damn it!

Xena didn't know what else she could do but keep calling out to Gabrielle and hope that her words would eventually sink in. This time trying a bit of a rougher approach. Hoping that maybe it would work better to finally catch Gabrielle's attention.

XENA
Gabrielle, you have to snap out of it. You've never given up on anything before, so don't you dare start now. So if you want this to stop, quit just laying there in a puddle of your self-defeat and pity and fight. You're better than this damn it! So if you want this to stop, quit listening to these stupid, poor excuses for copies, get up, and do something about it!

Xena's voice echoed through the corridor and caught the spirits' attention who stopped circling Gabrielle who still didn't appear to register what Xena had said. The spirits turned their focus to Xena as they began to float toward where she stood.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
It's too late for her Xena.

SPIRIT XENA
Just look at her. She's done. We all know it.

Xena scowled at the spirits as they came her way.

XENA
(Angry tone) You don't know anything.

Xena called to Gabrielle again as the spirits began to circle her just as they had done with Gabrielle.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
Oh Xena, always trying to do the right thing for Gabrielle. And others. So noble.

SPIRIT XENA
But do you honestly think that what you're doing now is enough? After everything you've done? After all of the people, you've hurt?

XENA
Okay, I'm guessing that it's my turn now.

Xena stood tall and kept her face emotionless as the spirits continued.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
Tell us, Xena, what's it like to have so much blood on your hands?

XENA
Terrible. I can never undo the suffering and damage I've caused. But that's not who I am anymore.

SPIRIT XENA
You say you've left that part of yourself behind, but what about those affected by your brutality?  Have they?

XENA
I'm certain that plenty haven't. But I don't expect their forgiveness. I know I certainly don't deserve it. And that's just something that I'll have to live with.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
So casual about the horrific things that you're responsible for. Makes me wonder just how truly remorseful you are.

Xena scowled at the spirits.

XENA
I'm more sorry about the things I've done than most will ever know. But I know what you're trying to do and it won't work on me.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
And why's that?

Xena's face relaxed as a hint of sadness showed in her eyes.

XENA
Because there's nothing that a couple of spirits or anyone else can say that I hadn't said to myself. Or that could possibly make me feel worse about what I've done than I already do.

Xena stood tall as she pushed the emotions and memories that haunted her all too often back into the dark corner of her mind where they normally resided. Until the time when Xena knew that they'd resurface again and would more than likely continue to do so for the rest of her days.

XENA
But that's my burden to carry and the price I pay for my actions. So I don't need your help to make me feel bad about what I've done.

Xena smirked for a moment.

XENA
I do that just fine all on my own. So why don't you both get lost and go try haunting someone else who actually gives a damn about what a couple of random spirits have to say?

The spirits could tell that their tactics were indeed not going to work on Xena and floated away from her as her expression returned serious and her focus went back to Gabrielle. Again she could feel practically Gabrielle slowly sinking ever further into her own pit of despair. She knew that if this kept up Gabrielle might not be able to be pulled back out at all. She didn't know what else she could say that would get through to her. Completely at a loss for what else she could do, Xena tried again to reach her with everything that she could think to say. Refusing to give up on getting through to Gabrielle as she felt Gabrielle continuing to fall further away from her and into the depths of her sorrow and defeat. Not knowing that Gabrielle was drowning within that very sea of darkness inside of her mind. Sinking further beneath the surface from where she might not ever be able to return as fire that once burned bright within her heart, was now nothing more than a small flicker of dull light that threatened to go out soon. Unless something could fan the flame before it was too late and it was extinguished forever.

TO BE CONTINUED...