"THE PRINCESS & THE QUEEN" series -SCROLL VII: SACRAMENTS FOR SUBSTANTIATION

pt.24

The  corridor of the cave continued to echo with the voices of the taunting Xena and Gabrielle look-alike spirits as they circled Gabrielle who was huddled into a ball on a piece of rock that floated in the sea of lava. She cried as she found all of her resolve to become better than what she thought she was leaving her. Her own thoughts now beginning to torment her even more than the cruel words from the spirits.

GABRIELLE
(Thinking to herself) It's not enough. I'm never gonna be good enough. I've tried so hard and yet I have nothing to show for it. And in the end, all I did was push Xena away and... Gods after hearing the reason, I can only imagine what she must be thinking right now. She's always done so much for me. Put her life on the line countless times for me and this is how I repay her? By shutting her out? Getting mad when she showed her concern for me when she knew something was wrong? And now that I don't know what to do I want her to come save me,
again?

The world around Gabrielle had all but faded from her consciousness as she sunk deeper into the recesses of her mind and into the depths of the clouded darkness that engulfed her from within.

GABRIELLE
(Thinking to herself) Xena's always said that she doesn't deserve me, but in reality, I'm the one who doesn't deserve to have someone like her. So many times those we've come across have asked her what she sees in me. While she always gives a kind answer and tries to build me up, deep down I've always wondered that myself. What do I really offer her that measures up to everything that Xena does for me? What could I offer? I don't have anything special that Xena either doesn't have the ability to do herself or could easily find someone else who's likely better at whatever she thinks I do for her anyway. Gods, what have I even been doing this whole time we've been together? Other than bringing Xena down.

Now finally hearing the truth about how Gabrielle's been feeling, Xena stood in almost disbelief at the fact.

XENA
(Thinking to herself) How could Gabrielle think that? How can she truly think that she's not good enough? How can she not see what I see in her? And how could I not know?

Xena clenched her fist in frustration at the whole situation. As well as in anger at the spirits that were tormenting Gabrielle even more than what she had already apparently been doing to herself.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
Weak.

SPIRIT XENA
Useless.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
Even now I'm certain that you're wishing for Xena to come and save you.

GABRIELLE
(Quiet/ Defeated tone) Yes.

SPIRIT XENA
But what will happen when the day comes that Xena grows tired of coming to your rescue? Or dies as a result of trying to save you.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
What will you do then?

GABRIELLE
(Quiet/ Defeated tone) I don't know.
(Thinking to herself) I've thought of that so many times, but I've always pushed those thoughts away and convinced myself that Xena's capabilities would be enough to prevent anything from happening to her. But they're right. As amazing as Xena is, she's still only human. She gets hurt. She can die. And I can inadvertently be the cause. I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself if she was killed trying to defend me. And Aurora, she would lose one of her parents. If I took Xena away from her I...

The taunting continued for a few more moments until a voice that could no longer remain silent echoed over the spirits.

XENA
I would gladly give my life to defend Gabrielle any day. She's the reason I'm even still here at all anyway. She saved me a long time ago and did so without even trying.

The spirits looked over at Xena who stood on a piece of rock next to the one Gabrielle was on.

XENA
And if you ask me she's the strongest person I know.

Xena fiercely glared at the spirits.

XENA
So don't you dare call her weak.

Xena then spoke directly to Gabrielle who was too immersed in her sorrow and pain to have even heard her.

XENA
You hear me, Gabrielle? You are not weak, or incapable, or whatever else you've been telling yourself that you are.

SPIRIT GABRIELLE
Oh, Gabrielle, it looks like Xena's here to save you once again.

Xena scowled at the spirit.

XENA
(Angry tone) You shut your mouth before I shut it for you. You might look like Gabrielle but you clearly have no clue about what kind of person she really is.

SPIRIT XENA
And you do? Because up until a few minutes ago you didn't even know how she was truly feeling.

XENA
I might not always know what she's thinking. But what I do know is that Gabrielle is a good, kind person. She has an amazing ability to see the good in everything. Including a short-tempered, foolish, worn-down warrior like me. Who at times can be too stubborn to see what should be obvious.

Xena continued as she directed her words toward Gabrielle, hoping that she was hearing her.

XENA
I know I've said it before but I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you in my life. You're not the one who needs me. The truth is that I'm the one who needs you, Gabrielle. The only way that I'm able to do half of the things I do is because of you. You're so much more than what these spirits are saying. Or what you've been telling yourself. Don't you know that?

Xena paused for a moment as she tried to think of what else she could say to drive home her point.

XENA
And for the record, I don't defend you because I don't necessarily think that you can't do it yourself. I'd do that regardless of whether you could fight or not. I do it because I love you.

Xena stopped speaking for a moment before finishing up with one more thing before she waited to see if what she had said had sunk in.

XENA
So what's it gonna be Gabrielle? Are you just gonna sit there and prove these spirits and all the others who've said you shouldn't be where you are in life right? Or are you gonna stand up and fight for yourself? Like we both know you can.

Once done Xena stood waiting and hoping that she had managed to get through to Gabrielle who hadn't moved or acknowledged that Xena had even been speaking to her. The spirits had stopped taunting Gabrielle as they were convinced that they had done their job and that Gabrielle was done with her attempt to complete the test. And judging from the lack of response Gabrielle had given to what Xena had said, it began to seem as though the spirits were right.

TO BE CONTINUED...