Yep, definitely Loki's kid.

Chapter 26: I Promise I Am Not a Creep

After I walk the 5 blocks to the subway I get a ticket with the leftover change I keep buried in my pockets and board the train. I instantly cringe back as I step into the car. I forgot how absolutely disgusting the New York metro is. I tug my hood over my face tighter as I make my way to the corner of the train car, hoping to stay out of sight, both so that people will not recognize me if they were watching the news and also because there are a scary amount of obvious creeps on here that I desperately want to get away from and avoid.

I keep checking the directions that RUBY sent to my phone, making sure that I get off at the right stop, intent on getting off this train as soon as possible. It is about a 25-minute ride since there are a good amount of stops on the way, but during this time I have time to think, and that may not be such a good thing.

I zone out to the rhythmic bumps in the track and my mind runs laps. I know that I should not be out of the tower, I know that this is not a good idea, but there are more important things than that. I need to make sure that the kids are alright, and my nightmare most definitely did not do anything to soothe my worry. I only notice now that my breathing has still not calmed from my nightmare, it still sounds the same as when I woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air. Before I told myself that it was because I was running, but now that that is not true, it is clear that my entire body is still on edge and fighting to calm down but is unable to. I need to be sure that the kids are safe, that they can breathe,  that is the only thing that could allow me to fully breathe again.

Even though there is one part of me desperate to see the kids, there is another part that fears seeing them. What if they don't want to see me? What if they hate me? I wouldn't blame them. This is my fault, this is all my fault. Maybe if I would have just told someone sooner they would have never had to go through that, if I just wasn't so selfish.

Then there is Scarlet. Will she even be able to bear looking at me? I killed her- I nearly killed her. I wasn't there for them like I so readily promised I would be before. I wasn't there for her and that nearly killed her.

My fingers pull at the end of my sleeve, unconsciously tugging at a loose thread. I try to take deep breaths, but the air can't make it fully past my throat. The fear and anticipation cause my throat to constrict and my chest to ache, bringing my guilt to life, to something tangible.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In what only feels like seconds after I sat down, I am at my stop. I gather myself and quickly rush off, glad to get far away from all the creeps. I look down at my phone again for directions on how to get to where Tony has the kids. Supposedly, he has a member of SHIELD, an organization that I know a surprising amount about thanks to my skill for snooping around in places that I am not allowed to, running the house, and watching the kids for the time being. Therefore, that may make it slightly harder to sneak in without them knowing, they are a trained spy after all.

After a several-minute long walk, thankfully unnoticed, since there is no one else stupid enough to walk this late as it is almost 3 am, I round the corner until I am standing in front of a massive, almost extravagant building. I stand in shock for a moment, staring at the place where the kids are staying. It is definitely a step up from before when we couldn't even afford to fix the chipping paint job.

I make sure to stay out of the lamplights and sight of the house while sneaking around it, trying to find the best way in. When I get around to the back and find that the tall iron fence securely surrounds the whole thing I sigh. I am glad that it seems secure and safe, but it does make it unnecessarily difficult for me to get in.

Eventually, I find a spot in the dark corner of the yard to climb the fence and approach the back of the massive building, all the while staying out of sight of the security cameras I made sure to take note of. I feel like a creep doing this, and I am sure that I would most certainly look like one to any on-looking eyes, but I just need to make sure they are ok.