Writhe: SCALP

-1-

Prologue

The beam of the street lights landed on the lifeless form lying on the pavement. The skin pale from excessive blood loss. It wasn't the fact that her eyes were a deep crimson and wide open, but the fact that the whole top most part of her head was butchered off, clean. Like the work of an artist. Her brains were showing a little; her neck dark with bruising. The night shivered with an icy breeze and fell silent to lament..

                                                                  ***

July 7th, 2022.

Dear friend, today she glanced. I've always been content with her hazel eyes sweeping the classroom when she stood in front to read an excerpt of Romeo and Juliet. Content with being able to get lost in them when I was supposed to be listening. It was all so easy, I sat in the front row, by the window. Outside, the school garden and its fresh breeze fought for my attention, but everything i've ever wanted I saw it all inside that sparkle in her eyes. Today she paused for two seconds when she laid her eyes on me. That moment should be the highlight of my day but I got scared when it happened. Dear friend, you know I'm used to being alone. Alone I find peace and stability, but alone I also find darkness and emptiness. For two seconds today, I didn't feel alone, I didn't feel empty. I'm grateful but I'm scared. Should I read into it? Should I hope? Should I finally open my heart to desire? To companionship?

I sighed and closed my journal. A page was folded on the entry of March 4th 2020. I put down my pen and looked outside. It was a gray evening. Today the golden sunset wasn't visible. Maybe she'd had a bad day like me? She should know I love her just the way she is, glowing amber with life or dark and gray covered by somber clouds. My eyes fell on the house next to mine. It was our neighbor's house. The window was still shut, the violet curtains drawn. I stared for a moment, thinking.

I went downstairs to find my brother already preparing supper. I went and stood next to him and watched as he chopped the kales. He liked to stay at home. He wasn't interested in school and did not seem to have any dreams of a better life. Four years since he was done with primary school, four years staying at home, doing chores. It seemed sad but I didn't feel sad for him, in fact, I felt nothing. Despite being just a year older than me, we weren't close. We weren't raised together, he joined us five years ago. I was excited by the idea of having him around, a dear brother. I was excited to be a family, but I was bitterly disappointed. Even after five years, I couldn't forgive him for being so hostile with me and my mother, especially me. After years of his anger, violence and pure hostility, It hit me hard that we were never going to be a family. When he stopped his violence and hostility, I forgave him. However, something had snapped inside of me and I was unable to ever connect with him. It was a lonely time for me. He reminded me of my deceased father. Our..father. My eyes fell on the knives beside him.

"The old lady came by again..", he muttered.

I snapped back to reality and took a knife. I picked up the carrots.

"What did she want this time?"

"She came with that strange girl from your class. She was just leaving a message for mum. I have a feeling their family is in an occult. Which modern woman in her right mind shaves their head completely till it shines? And do you see what she wears? It's as if she's still in the 1800s. I always.."

He went on and on but I was thinking.

"Fiki? She hasn't come to school for a week now"

Fiki, the strange girl, granddaughter to my strange neighbor. At least that's what everyone said. She was quiet, brooding and rarely smiled. The fact that she kept short hair didn't help things either. Anyway, I don't know what they saw, I didn't see a stranger. Fiki was my friend. Apart from my journal. When we were together, she smiled a lot. Despite knowing each other just two years, we were closer than sisters. We understood each other on almost spiritual levels. I saw and appreciated everything that she was, and she saw me and appreciated all that I was. People didn't understand our relationship. I'm the type to appreciate people as they come. For this reason many considered me their friend, but I only considered one. In fact, the weirder the better. I loved people who were considered strange or weird or different. They weren't normal, I don't consider myself normal, and that's why we click. Everyone else bored me for some reason. I was worried about Fiki. She had told me not to try reaching her. I always avoided going to their house. I said I loved weirdos, but her grandmothers aura made me shudder. I didn't care that she didn't have a strand of hair on her head. She wasn't a weirdo, she was strange and dark. I was afraid. She would give me the look of a tigress watching a helpless fawn. One day she touched my hair and said it looked beautiful. That's the day I felt it, the cold air. It was as if a cold blanket of air had passed through me. I never mentioned it to Fiki. I never told anyone. From that day on, I never went back to their house. I would invite Fiki over to our house instead. Strangely, she never asked why I stopped going. If she had questions about it, she kept it to herself. This was a year ago. Since then, her grandmother always found excuses to come by our house. I had a strong feeling it had something to do with me but after a while, I stopped thinking about it.

--

"I know you like her.." 

It was Monday. The afternoon was nice and sunny. Fiki and I sat in the garden, watching the ducks waddling in the school pond.

"A week of absence and telling me not to reach you and that's what you have to say?" I replied.

She took a deep breath, her eyes fixated on the duck closest to us.

"Look at them waddling. They're so free, they seem happy"

"Yes they do. Does that mean you wish you were born a duck?"

"I wish I was born a unicorn, you know that..", she giggled.

I chuckled. "You will be reborn as a unicorn when you die don't worry. A unicorn with a haircut"

She chuckled and looked at me.

"Well, let's die together, so we can be reborn together"

I laughed out.

"A tiger and unicorn, great team"

"You still want to be reborn a tiger? All that aggression, change it to unicorn so we can run into the sunset together" she said grinning widely. I found myself smiling. I hadn't smiled in a week. I felt genuinely happy, as I felt whenever it was me and her.

"Damn, I missed you. You don't wanna know how lonely I was. Mani kept asking me to join her squad for drinks after school. Coming up with excuses for a whole week.. I swear ive become so good at it.."

She laughed and stared into the dense trees. We sat in silence for a while. Taking in natures glory.

"I see how you look at her"

"Wh-"

"Don't, you know who I'm talking about"

"You've always known, why are you asking?" I said quietly.

"Nothing. She seems nice"

"Tell me"

"My grandmother, she made me stay home."

I always hated when she changed the subject, but she tells me at her own time eventually. I always gave her the space and time.

"She got sick. I know how much she likes you. Maybe if she sees you she might feel better"

"She scares me.." I said quietly.

''I know, she scares me too..''

I turned to look at her. I didn't know her grandmother scared her. They seemed close.

''You've never told me''

''I don't like talking about it.''

I looked into her eyes and I was shocked. It was fear, a deep fear.

''Fiki, tell me, what happened at home?''

''She will hear us...she will know.''

''Wh-who, how?''

In the distance, the bell rang. Fiki stood up quickly.

''We have class, lets go..''

We walked to class and I couldn't take my eyes off her. I felt it, the sadness and fear. It was as if her feelings were mine. It wasn't new. I'm used to feeling the pain of people I cared deeply about. With Fiki.. it was different, it felt different, it was all consuming and intense. It was as if our souls cried the same tears. This time, the tears felt heavier. She took her seat next to Raha.. my dream girl. Seeing her eased my mind, but the deep worry still hung around. Fiki looked attentive but her hands said different. Her thumbs pressed together her eyes kept fluttering. She glanced at me.

"You at the window, should we give you a moment to stare at your classmates and continue the class when you're finished?" the teacher snapped.

All eyes turned to me. I snapped back to reality, deeply embarrassed, but not because of them. Raha was also staring, and that was the only pair of eyes I was concerned with. A subtle smile gave away my happiness.